I’d say that it doesn’t carve reality at the same places as my understanding. I neither upvoted nor downvoted the post, but had to consciously remember that I have that option at all.
I think that language usage can be represented as vector, in basis of two modes:
“The Fiat”: words really have meanings, and goal of communication is to transmit information (including requests, promises, etc!),
“Non-Fiat”: you simply attempt to say a phrase that makes other people do something that furthers your goal. Like identifying with a social group (see Belief as Attire) or non-genuine promises.
(Note 1: if someone asked me what mode I commonly use, I would think. Think hard.)
In life, I try to communicate less hyperboles and replace them with non-verbal signs, which do not carry implication of either “the most beautiful” or “more beautiful than everyone around”.
Testing status: I’ve only dated once, because I’m moving to other city to enter university.
The girl I have dated was quite pretty but not the most beautiful around. Luckily I learnt that she has read HP:MoR early so didn’t even try to over-hyperbole and say that she was the most beautiful—both of us would understand that it’s false—instead, I smiled at appropriate moments.
Another non-verbal sign is not to dismiss parts of dialogue. When my girlfriend suggested a few animes to watch, and I doubted I would like them, I still visibly wrote them down but avoided promising that I will actually watch them. (I ended up liking one and said so afterwards!)
I have quite specific perspective on talking, because I notice that I’m trying to understand others’ perspective and internal beliefs structure when they don’t understand something. Roughly once a month, someone of my classmates would ask a strange-looking question, and teacher would answer something similar but not the question (like “Why this approximation works?”—“There’s how you do it...”—“I’ve understood how to calculate it, but why is it the answer?”), and afterwards I try to patch the underlying beliefs structure.
I’d say that it doesn’t carve reality at the same places as my understanding. I neither upvoted nor downvoted the post, but had to consciously remember that I have that option at all.
I think that language usage can be represented as vector, in basis of two modes:
“The Fiat”: words really have meanings, and goal of communication is to transmit information (including requests, promises, etc!),
“Non-Fiat”: you simply attempt to say a phrase that makes other people do something that furthers your goal. Like identifying with a social group (see Belief as Attire) or non-genuine promises.
(Note 1: if someone asked me what mode I commonly use, I would think. Think hard.)
(Note 2: I’ve found a whole tag about motivations which produce words—https://www.lesswrong.com/tag/simulacrum-levels! Had lost it for certain time before writing this comment.)
In life, I try to communicate less hyperboles and replace them with non-verbal signs, which do not carry implication of either “the most beautiful” or “more beautiful than everyone around”.
Could you say more, especially about “non-verbal signs”? I can guess what you’re gesturing out, but I’m interested to hear your thoughts.
Testing status: I’ve only dated once, because I’m moving to other city to enter university.
The girl I have dated was quite pretty but not the most beautiful around. Luckily I learnt that she has read HP:MoR early so didn’t even try to over-hyperbole and say that she was the most beautiful—both of us would understand that it’s false—instead, I smiled at appropriate moments.
Another non-verbal sign is not to dismiss parts of dialogue. When my girlfriend suggested a few animes to watch, and I doubted I would like them, I still visibly wrote them down but avoided promising that I will actually watch them. (I ended up liking one and said so afterwards!)
I have quite specific perspective on talking, because I notice that I’m trying to understand others’ perspective and internal beliefs structure when they don’t understand something. Roughly once a month, someone of my classmates would ask a strange-looking question, and teacher would answer something similar but not the question (like “Why this approximation works?”—“There’s how you do it...”—“I’ve understood how to calculate it, but why is it the answer?”), and afterwards I try to patch the underlying beliefs structure.
If it wouldn’t have felt authentic, then it would have been the wrong choice to say it.