The first one is actually a reasonable strategy. You don’t want to make adversarial exploitation easy. Scott had a post about it, I think. The second one is indeed bad, but most parents set the rules without first thinking through whether they are reasonable.
The first one is actually a reasonable strategy. You don’t want to make adversarial exploitation
I think this is mostly not true for very little kids? You’re teaching them very simple rules (don’t go in the street without holding hands) and you do want them to test the boundaries and learn exactly what is and is not allowed.
most parents set the rules without first thinking through whether they are reasonable.
Agreed this is bad, and if you notice you’re doing this then “come up with a better strategy for rulemaking” (advice) is a lot higher priority than “get better at avoiding needing to enforce your rules”.
Both of these seem bad to me? Are you trying to describe why you don’t think this strategy applies?
The first one is actually a reasonable strategy. You don’t want to make adversarial exploitation easy. Scott had a post about it, I think. The second one is indeed bad, but most parents set the rules without first thinking through whether they are reasonable.
I think this is mostly not true for very little kids? You’re teaching them very simple rules (don’t go in the street without holding hands) and you do want them to test the boundaries and learn exactly what is and is not allowed.
Agreed this is bad, and if you notice you’re doing this then “come up with a better strategy for rulemaking” (advice) is a lot higher priority than “get better at avoiding needing to enforce your rules”.