This is strongly related to parenting where attention to negative behavior reinforces it—partly no doubt by making it more the topic of thought. So every solution invented by parenting should be applicable to the question of how to ‘fetch positive queries’,
Parents frequently ask, “Is it ever useful to say what we don’t want?” Sometimes we can get an idea across better if we start by saying what we don’t want. This is particularly true if the child is already doing an undesired behaviour. After saying “Don’t do that,” to get her to stop, it’s very important to immediately tell our child what we do want: “That’s too loud, Amy. I’d like to have you talk a little softer, like this (demonstrating with your voice), OK?”
This contains the initial insight that you have to first notice (in this case helped by the parent) that you are following a negative query. And then go on to follow the positive opposite.
Children don’t learn by being told what not to do, they learn by seeing and hearing what to do.
This of course is the same as looking and doing what other people do in that situation.
If a mother rushes to a child on a ledge and shrieks “Be careful! Be careful!” with terror in her voice, the negative outcome is expressed nonverbally.
This matches the aspect that the words alone aren’t the key to whether your brain is put into ‘negative fetching’ mode. You emotional state is key to that too.
Putting it together this means that you should be able to train positive fetching by using standard positive reinforcement techniques. This should work best with a partner providing the feedback.
It seems closely related to the technique where, to stop them doing something you don’t want them to do, you encourage them to do something else that prevents them from doing the first thing. (There’s a snappy name for this that I’ve forgotten.) So, for example, stopping them from bothering another child by getting them interested in an entirely different activity.
But the idea of the positive opposite really is to reward specific oppotite behavior. Not to divert from a problematic activity by distracting with other behaviors.
I long believed distraction to avoid solving the original problem and it may actually reward the problematic behavior. So I’m still not convinced distraction works.
This is strongly related to parenting where attention to negative behavior reinforces it—partly no doubt by making it more the topic of thought. So every solution invented by parenting should be applicable to the question of how to ‘fetch positive queries’,
This is the main topic of the following article: http://www.motherinc.com.au/magazine/kids/kids-education/476-negative-and-positive-commands
There is the following advice:
This contains the initial insight that you have to first notice (in this case helped by the parent) that you are following a negative query. And then go on to follow the positive opposite.
This of course is the same as looking and doing what other people do in that situation.
This matches the aspect that the words alone aren’t the key to whether your brain is put into ‘negative fetching’ mode. You emotional state is key to that too.
Putting it together this means that you should be able to train positive fetching by using standard positive reinforcement techniques. This should work best with a partner providing the feedback.
I find similar techniques help with my children.
It seems closely related to the technique where, to stop them doing something you don’t want them to do, you encourage them to do something else that prevents them from doing the first thing. (There’s a snappy name for this that I’ve forgotten.) So, for example, stopping them from bothering another child by getting them interested in an entirely different activity.
Do you mean what Kazdin calls the “positive opposite”? I wrote a review here:
http://lesswrong.com/r/discussion/lw/jzg/book_review_kazdins_the_everyday_parenting_toolkit/
But the idea of the positive opposite really is to reward specific oppotite behavior. Not to divert from a problematic activity by distracting with other behaviors.
I long believed distraction to avoid solving the original problem and it may actually reward the problematic behavior. So I’m still not convinced distraction works.