‘We can forget that it is often painful to be a narcissist. It is not easy always having to be Admired/Admiring or Contemptuous, in order to avoid—desperately—the Contemptible pole. If we are lucky enough to usually inhabit a more normal Self-State (e.g. “reasonably competent; Respectful of-Respected by others; relaxed about being Ordinary”), can we find compassion for Narcissists who have not achieved this?’
http://www.acat.me.uk/reformulation.php?issue_id=36&article_id=373