but it seemed like a good idea that, once you have done that, you should find an alternative plan that focuses on achieveing a positive outcome.
If you simply remove the negative, this focus shift tends to happen automatically. And by “tends to”, I mean, like every single frickin’ time (lots of different clients with different situations).
Per the pain/gain post, when you are not experiencing negative motivation, possible choices of action tend to become mighty clear. The routine thing that people say after the last negative in an area is removed is, “Oh, I think I’ll do X. Wonder why i didn’t think of that before.”
OTOH, if you have to make an effort to focus on the positive, it’s an indication that you’re pushing against something. If you actually remove that something, you don’ t have to push—the door just flies open when you touch it.
If you simply remove the negative, this focus shift tends to happen automatically.
I don’t understand what you mean by removing the negative, and how this is supposed to be a simple act. Obviously it is too late to stop the original pain that triggered it. If you mean removing the negative reaction, I don’t understand how you can claim that is a simple action. (Unless you are constraining simple to mean simple for an expert in the particular field of mind modification/psychology/whatever the relevant field is.)
I don’t understand what you mean by removing the negative, and how this is supposed to be a simple act. … If you mean removing the negative reaction, I don’t understand how you can claim that is a simple action.
Memory reconsolidation and reinterpretation is a simple act—we do it all the time. Suppose that there’s an attractive person of the appropriate sex who looks away and avoids you every time you come in the room. You feel hurt and rejected—a negative reaction. Then, you find out that it’s really because he/she is attracted to you and too shy to say anything. Your feelings about the matter change immediately.
Doing this for an arbitrary negative reaction is equally simple, at least in principle.
Well—this is only true if said person is doing it for a positive reason. If you instead find out that they are actually avoiding you because they really don’t like you, then it’ll tend to have a further depressing action…
While it’s much better to accentuate the positives, and all that—it sometimes isn’t as easy as all that—ie as LeBleu mentions, it’s not necessarily a simple act.
If you simply remove the negative, this focus shift tends to happen automatically. And by “tends to”, I mean, like every single frickin’ time (lots of different clients with different situations).
Per the pain/gain post, when you are not experiencing negative motivation, possible choices of action tend to become mighty clear. The routine thing that people say after the last negative in an area is removed is, “Oh, I think I’ll do X. Wonder why i didn’t think of that before.”
OTOH, if you have to make an effort to focus on the positive, it’s an indication that you’re pushing against something. If you actually remove that something, you don’ t have to push—the door just flies open when you touch it.
I don’t understand what you mean by removing the negative, and how this is supposed to be a simple act. Obviously it is too late to stop the original pain that triggered it. If you mean removing the negative reaction, I don’t understand how you can claim that is a simple action. (Unless you are constraining simple to mean simple for an expert in the particular field of mind modification/psychology/whatever the relevant field is.)
Memory reconsolidation and reinterpretation is a simple act—we do it all the time. Suppose that there’s an attractive person of the appropriate sex who looks away and avoids you every time you come in the room. You feel hurt and rejected—a negative reaction. Then, you find out that it’s really because he/she is attracted to you and too shy to say anything. Your feelings about the matter change immediately.
Doing this for an arbitrary negative reaction is equally simple, at least in principle.
Well—this is only true if said person is doing it for a positive reason. If you instead find out that they are actually avoiding you because they really don’t like you, then it’ll tend to have a further depressing action…
While it’s much better to accentuate the positives, and all that—it sometimes isn’t as easy as all that—ie as LeBleu mentions, it’s not necessarily a simple act.
Hah, the looking away part has happened too many times for it to hurt me anymore.
Interesting. I defer to your experience here.