Getting married/engaged can involve drama and bad memories, because of the necessity of considering such things as the Rehearsal party, Bachelor party, Bachelorette party, Wedding party, and the Honeymoon.
For instance, due to a slight breakdown in communications, I ended up spending a substantial amount of my Bachelor party being responsible for driving/watching my underaged brother. He’s a good little brother and it wasn’t any one particular person’s fault. But that wasn’t part of the “Series of fairy tale events that I had been visualizing in my head.”
I can probably think of about ten more anecdotes like that of around that time. That one was actually one of the mild ones.
I’m under the impression many people give bog standard advice like the wedding might be a fairy tale, but what about the marriage afterwards? I would like to point out the reverse perspective: You may have a fairy tale marriage, but your time period around your wedding is likely going to be a set of extremely difficult feats in social event planning.
Actually, I’m curious what the effects of being more familiar with Less Wrong when I got married would have been. I would have had more practice in lowering my expectations and dispelling overly idealistic fantasies based on no evidence, both of which from my current perspective seem like they would have been amazing useful skills to have during wedding planning.
This is not to say you can’t have a perfect series of parties topped off by a fantastic honeymoon. That actually does happen. I sincerely wish it happens for you. But If I were to couch this in terms of advice to Michaelos 2008, I would tell him that he should not EXPECT it to happen, because he’s never done it before and planning social events was never his or his soon to be wife’s forte. But honestly I’m not sure he would have had enough context to get that advice.
So in terms of your actual question about doing it now, six months from now, or a year from now, I would say first discuss it in terms of the best way to handle those tricky social feats with other people. In addition, possibly discuss it with the other people as well, or someone you think of as a skilled master at tricky social situations.
Thank you! I will update in favor of getting help from my socially-adept friends, especially married ones. I will also attempt to aim my drive-to-do-overcomplicated-socially-dramatic-things at this challenge when it appears rather than expecting to accomplish it all with more ordinary planning-of-stuff skills.
Getting married/engaged can involve drama and bad memories, because of the necessity of considering such things as the Rehearsal party, Bachelor party, Bachelorette party, Wedding party, and the Honeymoon.
For instance, due to a slight breakdown in communications, I ended up spending a substantial amount of my Bachelor party being responsible for driving/watching my underaged brother. He’s a good little brother and it wasn’t any one particular person’s fault. But that wasn’t part of the “Series of fairy tale events that I had been visualizing in my head.”
I can probably think of about ten more anecdotes like that of around that time. That one was actually one of the mild ones.
I’m under the impression many people give bog standard advice like the wedding might be a fairy tale, but what about the marriage afterwards? I would like to point out the reverse perspective: You may have a fairy tale marriage, but your time period around your wedding is likely going to be a set of extremely difficult feats in social event planning.
Actually, I’m curious what the effects of being more familiar with Less Wrong when I got married would have been. I would have had more practice in lowering my expectations and dispelling overly idealistic fantasies based on no evidence, both of which from my current perspective seem like they would have been amazing useful skills to have during wedding planning.
This is not to say you can’t have a perfect series of parties topped off by a fantastic honeymoon. That actually does happen. I sincerely wish it happens for you. But If I were to couch this in terms of advice to Michaelos 2008, I would tell him that he should not EXPECT it to happen, because he’s never done it before and planning social events was never his or his soon to be wife’s forte. But honestly I’m not sure he would have had enough context to get that advice.
So in terms of your actual question about doing it now, six months from now, or a year from now, I would say first discuss it in terms of the best way to handle those tricky social feats with other people. In addition, possibly discuss it with the other people as well, or someone you think of as a skilled master at tricky social situations.
Thank you! I will update in favor of getting help from my socially-adept friends, especially married ones. I will also attempt to aim my drive-to-do-overcomplicated-socially-dramatic-things at this challenge when it appears rather than expecting to accomplish it all with more ordinary planning-of-stuff skills.