I think we’ve converged to the “know your audience” heuristic. Or maybe “stay classy, for a context-sensitive definition of classy.” Snappy phrases are hard. =]
I agree with being aware of social consequences, but I also feel like some social consequences are crappy and need to be changed. And sometimes there is value in speaking up even if it doesn’t directly change anyone’s mind. They can learn to not do crappy things around me, because I will cause social consequences for them. T_T
Generally, I wish it were more socially acceptable to listen to the person doing the weird thing. For example, it’s generally acceptable to make a big deal about a person who is crying. Even the groups that are tolerant to crying will respond with a flurry of fussiness even when the person is saying “please ignore me, I’m okay.” A lot of these things would be much easier if we could just cry or puke and count on everyone else to respond the way we tell them to respond. Because my post-crying, post-puking needs might be different than the next person’s. Bah!
Even the groups that are tolerant to crying will respond with a flurry of fussiness even when the person is saying “please ignore me, I’m okay.” A lot of these things would be much easier if we could just cry or puke and count on everyone else to respond the way we tell them to respond.
Very much agreed, and that’s a lot of what I strive for in my own behavior. I’ve found a few people pick up on it, too, which is always pleasing to see little ripples of change.
I think we’ve converged to the “know your audience” heuristic. Or maybe “stay classy, for a context-sensitive definition of classy.” Snappy phrases are hard. =]
I agree with being aware of social consequences, but I also feel like some social consequences are crappy and need to be changed. And sometimes there is value in speaking up even if it doesn’t directly change anyone’s mind. They can learn to not do crappy things around me, because I will cause social consequences for them. T_T
Generally, I wish it were more socially acceptable to listen to the person doing the weird thing. For example, it’s generally acceptable to make a big deal about a person who is crying. Even the groups that are tolerant to crying will respond with a flurry of fussiness even when the person is saying “please ignore me, I’m okay.” A lot of these things would be much easier if we could just cry or puke and count on everyone else to respond the way we tell them to respond. Because my post-crying, post-puking needs might be different than the next person’s. Bah!
Very much agreed, and that’s a lot of what I strive for in my own behavior. I’ve found a few people pick up on it, too, which is always pleasing to see little ripples of change.