My advice to someone in my 17 year old self’s position would be to get a stack of social psychology books and read them, along with succeedsocially.com and a few ettiquette books that explain the why as well as the what. Then find a venue in which to practice those skills, whether it be work (bar or restaurant work at best because of the continuous exposure to people) play (an interest group, like a club or society). If you choose play it must actually be fun because otherwise you will not go after a while. Something like comedy or acting would be great as would dancing or martial arts. I suspect the PUA community would be excellent training for men who already have training wheels but I have no personal experience with it, I just found the books helpful in providing me with better mental models of people.
My personal experience.
Alcohol fueled disinhibition leading to expanding the range of behaviours I was willing to try, and non-deliberate practice by doing more of the things that seemed to work and less of the things that didn’t. This was one of the major things.
Other important ones;
Discovery Channel programmes on flirting gave me a base on which to build with interacting with the opposite sex in a more natural or at least more fluid and comfortable (for all concerned) way.
Working and going to university also made a huge difference. I was more reserved than was helpful before. Dealing with extroverts and non-intellectuals all day at work was really helpful un rubbing off some rough edges and university was great for dealing with a group with common interests and varied levels of social skills. You could see what worked and given that it was an SF society there was a large spread, and some of the people there had made large strides very quickly, some of whom I became good friends with and who were fonts of good advice.
Asperger’s diagnosis here.
My advice to someone in my 17 year old self’s position would be to get a stack of social psychology books and read them, along with succeedsocially.com and a few ettiquette books that explain the why as well as the what. Then find a venue in which to practice those skills, whether it be work (bar or restaurant work at best because of the continuous exposure to people) play (an interest group, like a club or society). If you choose play it must actually be fun because otherwise you will not go after a while. Something like comedy or acting would be great as would dancing or martial arts. I suspect the PUA community would be excellent training for men who already have training wheels but I have no personal experience with it, I just found the books helpful in providing me with better mental models of people.
My personal experience.
Alcohol fueled disinhibition leading to expanding the range of behaviours I was willing to try, and non-deliberate practice by doing more of the things that seemed to work and less of the things that didn’t. This was one of the major things.
Other important ones;
Discovery Channel programmes on flirting gave me a base on which to build with interacting with the opposite sex in a more natural or at least more fluid and comfortable (for all concerned) way.
Working and going to university also made a huge difference. I was more reserved than was helpful before. Dealing with extroverts and non-intellectuals all day at work was really helpful un rubbing off some rough edges and university was great for dealing with a group with common interests and varied levels of social skills. You could see what worked and given that it was an SF society there was a large spread, and some of the people there had made large strides very quickly, some of whom I became good friends with and who were fonts of good advice.