This needs more thinking that I originally assumed, because many ideas that come to my mind turn out on reflection to be some kind of privileged “use the resources I have, but you don’t”, “spend more time with people I know, but you don’t” (providing the name and address of an unknown person is cheating, like giving the number of a winning lottery ticket), “use the skills/knowledge I have, but you don’t” (the kind of knowledge that cannot be explained in one sentence, and sending back the entire book is cheating), etc. Knowing the right people, and having good models of things (including a good model of who are the right people), are extremely valuable; having accumulated money and programming skills also helps a lot. Trying to transfer this lesson on e.g. one page of text has a high chance of misinterpreting the message. Other than that...
When someone starts bullying you, fight back immediately. This can escalate things in short term, but is preferable to long-term deniable “you all misunderstand, we are just being friendly” abuse. Other people often try to stop obvious violence, but hesitate to get involved in an ambiguous interaction.
If someone disrespects you, don’t try to win their respect; walk away. The chance of success is very small: people usually stick with their first opinion regardless of further evidence. In the rare case where you succeed, you usually lose respect for that person in the process (e.g. you find out that their respect for people depends on some specific trait X they assumed you don’t have; you provide a signal of X; you conclude that a person who sees the world as a hierarchy of Xs above non-Xs is a moron), which retrospectively makes gaining their respect a waste of time. Also, be suspicious when such people try to initiate an interaction with you: they probably want to use you in some way you won’t like. (Distinguish between disrespect as an actively negative attitude, as opposed to mere disinterest or mistrust. “I don’t know you” is perfectly legitimate; “I barely know you, but I conclude that you are a loser” is not.)
Your thoughts are shaped by the people you spend your time with; choose them carefully.
Acting in accordance with your values is surprisingly important in long term. Your values are among the few things that feel important even after decades; whatever you traded them for is long gone. Knowing that you had bad luck hurts much less than knowing that you made a wrong choice.
Saving money is important, but almost all investment opportunities are scams. (More precisely: scams have much greater budget to advertise to you in various ways. Non-scams require research on your side. If someone offers to help you with the research, 99% chance they are involved in the scam.) The costs of real estate in a city with enough jobs always keep growing.
Learn to say “no”. Learn to ask for a high price. It is better to do one project for $2000 and be rejected once, than to do two projects for $1000 each. -- This is not an advice against working for free: if it is something you want to do, if it is enjoayble, or if you learn a lot. Just don’t do something tedious cheaply, because someone asked you to; you will feel like the other person now owes you, the other person will remember they paid you.
Companies are not humans; you have relations with your colleagues, not with your job. Companies feel neither loyalty nor gratitude; calling you a “human resource” is surprisingly frank, that is exactly what you are. The easiest way to get a raise is to apply for another job.
If you were happy working with someone, call them later and ask whether they are happy with their current job and whether the company is hiring: if yes, you can get a good job and a good colleague simultaneously.
This needs more thinking that I originally assumed, because many ideas that come to my mind turn out on reflection to be some kind of privileged “use the resources I have, but you don’t”, “spend more time with people I know, but you don’t” (providing the name and address of an unknown person is cheating, like giving the number of a winning lottery ticket), “use the skills/knowledge I have, but you don’t” (the kind of knowledge that cannot be explained in one sentence, and sending back the entire book is cheating), etc. Knowing the right people, and having good models of things (including a good model of who are the right people), are extremely valuable; having accumulated money and programming skills also helps a lot. Trying to transfer this lesson on e.g. one page of text has a high chance of misinterpreting the message. Other than that...
When someone starts bullying you, fight back immediately. This can escalate things in short term, but is preferable to long-term deniable “you all misunderstand, we are just being friendly” abuse. Other people often try to stop obvious violence, but hesitate to get involved in an ambiguous interaction.
If someone disrespects you, don’t try to win their respect; walk away. The chance of success is very small: people usually stick with their first opinion regardless of further evidence. In the rare case where you succeed, you usually lose respect for that person in the process (e.g. you find out that their respect for people depends on some specific trait X they assumed you don’t have; you provide a signal of X; you conclude that a person who sees the world as a hierarchy of Xs above non-Xs is a moron), which retrospectively makes gaining their respect a waste of time. Also, be suspicious when such people try to initiate an interaction with you: they probably want to use you in some way you won’t like. (Distinguish between disrespect as an actively negative attitude, as opposed to mere disinterest or mistrust. “I don’t know you” is perfectly legitimate; “I barely know you, but I conclude that you are a loser” is not.)
Your thoughts are shaped by the people you spend your time with; choose them carefully.
Acting in accordance with your values is surprisingly important in long term. Your values are among the few things that feel important even after decades; whatever you traded them for is long gone. Knowing that you had bad luck hurts much less than knowing that you made a wrong choice.
Saving money is important, but almost all investment opportunities are scams. (More precisely: scams have much greater budget to advertise to you in various ways. Non-scams require research on your side. If someone offers to help you with the research, 99% chance they are involved in the scam.) The costs of real estate in a city with enough jobs always keep growing.
Learn to say “no”. Learn to ask for a high price. It is better to do one project for $2000 and be rejected once, than to do two projects for $1000 each. -- This is not an advice against working for free: if it is something you want to do, if it is enjoayble, or if you learn a lot. Just don’t do something tedious cheaply, because someone asked you to; you will feel like the other person now owes you, the other person will remember they paid you.
Companies are not humans; you have relations with your colleagues, not with your job. Companies feel neither loyalty nor gratitude; calling you a “human resource” is surprisingly frank, that is exactly what you are. The easiest way to get a raise is to apply for another job.
If you were happy working with someone, call them later and ask whether they are happy with their current job and whether the company is hiring: if yes, you can get a good job and a good colleague simultaneously.