I’m not sure if I understand the question, either. But, if there’s someone whose brain you’ve already asked to borrow before, asking them whether it’s annoying is probably a thing you should do (assuming you’re similar to me).
I tend to feel like I’m asking for free stuff and offering nothing in return when I ask for advice, especially from people who I don’t know well (or don’t know at all—like forums I’ve just joined). But, most people who I ask for advice don’t act like I’m wasting their time, and the times I’ve asked whether they mind, they usually say they don’t mind or they like being helpful for the sake of it. And when other people ask me for advice, I tend to enjoy the conversation if it’s a topic I have any knowledge/experience in, and sometimes it’s sort of flattering to be asked. So, it looks to me like mentoring people is something that most humans enjoy doing, but some humans don’t ask for it as often as we should because we mistakenly think it’s a burdensome request.
(Also, as a data point, straightforward brain borrowing feels like a better offer than RPG playing. Probably because lending brains feels like building social capital and doing something useful, but RPG format registers as self-indulgent thing that I don’t have time for, and unlikely to be as fun as just talking about it would be.)
Having at least a friendly acquaintanceship with the person to begin with does make it easier to ask, though. Getting to know intimidating people who seem like they’re a level above yours, and possibly actually are, is a difficult thing that I don’t know much about myself. Though it’s probably more about dealing with one’s own nervousness and awkwardness than anything—the higher level person will probably see it as ordinary making friends. And some people don’t mind strangers asking them for help, so even if you don’t know the person you want to talk to, it could still be worth asking. Or you can ask in a group context, like a forum, and see who shows up.
Speaking of which, I’m gonna make myself ask the bootstrap startup forum for help by the end of the day today, because your post reminded me that I really need the advice and really shouldn’t be so scared of offending them by being too new and unknowable to reciprocate right away.
I’m not sure if I understand the question, either. But, if there’s someone whose brain you’ve already asked to borrow before, asking them whether it’s annoying is probably a thing you should do (assuming you’re similar to me).
I tend to feel like I’m asking for free stuff and offering nothing in return when I ask for advice, especially from people who I don’t know well (or don’t know at all—like forums I’ve just joined). But, most people who I ask for advice don’t act like I’m wasting their time, and the times I’ve asked whether they mind, they usually say they don’t mind or they like being helpful for the sake of it. And when other people ask me for advice, I tend to enjoy the conversation if it’s a topic I have any knowledge/experience in, and sometimes it’s sort of flattering to be asked. So, it looks to me like mentoring people is something that most humans enjoy doing, but some humans don’t ask for it as often as we should because we mistakenly think it’s a burdensome request.
(Also, as a data point, straightforward brain borrowing feels like a better offer than RPG playing. Probably because lending brains feels like building social capital and doing something useful, but RPG format registers as self-indulgent thing that I don’t have time for, and unlikely to be as fun as just talking about it would be.)
Having at least a friendly acquaintanceship with the person to begin with does make it easier to ask, though. Getting to know intimidating people who seem like they’re a level above yours, and possibly actually are, is a difficult thing that I don’t know much about myself. Though it’s probably more about dealing with one’s own nervousness and awkwardness than anything—the higher level person will probably see it as ordinary making friends. And some people don’t mind strangers asking them for help, so even if you don’t know the person you want to talk to, it could still be worth asking. Or you can ask in a group context, like a forum, and see who shows up.
Speaking of which, I’m gonna make myself ask the bootstrap startup forum for help by the end of the day today, because your post reminded me that I really need the advice and really shouldn’t be so scared of offending them by being too new and unknowable to reciprocate right away.