Self-defeating conspiracy theorists and their theories

Everyone who’s been on the internet for sometime has likely encountered odd theories regarding every sphere of human activity. The ones that attract the most adherents are characteristically concentrated in the political and economic spheres.

Some of these theories admittedly have proven to be grounded in real events, the most notable of those proven to be largely true are likely those regarding the affairs of clandestine agencies such as the CIA, NSA, KGB, and so on.

Some of the remaining theories may have a grain of truth to them, but mixed in with so much confabulation that it’s not worth the effort to separate out the signal from noise.

Some types however, such as the ones requiring some type of global control, can be recognized as absurd in themselves due to the paradoxes that arise between their premises and alleged existence.

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For example, the idea that X secretly rules the world. Where X can be the Illuminati, Jews, Aliens, etc...

There are elaborate ways of questioning the likelihood of these claims but thankfully there are straightforward questions, that when asked in the socratic style, usually lead to obvious absurdities if the claims are taken seriously. Thus forcing the claimant to accept absurd or unattractive premises, which they almost never do by-the-way, if they wish to continue free of contradiction.

Here’s one possible chain of questioning:

  1. If X is so organized, so strong, etc., as to currently rule the entire world, why wouldn’t they have brought conspiracy theorists under their heel already?

    1. Well they’re not strong enough to suppress everyone!

  2. If they don’t have the capacity to control everyone, how can they be said to rule?

    1. They’re hiding so they don’t want to reveal too much.

  3. If they have the ability to control selectively but decide not to spend any effort for this specific case, doesn’t that imply that these claims are irrelevant to X or their goals?

    1. Well they may think that, but trust me, this is the real deal.

  4. Why should I trust anyone? Wasn’t the claim that X, a supposedly super secret organization, are puppet masters of mankind or something to that effect?

    1. I’m right here, I’m obviously trustworthy, I got nothing to hide.

  5. How can we establish that neither one of us are puppets of X if they’re allegedly so much smarter and more capable then us?

    1. Well they’re not, we’re both smart cookies, not like the sheeple!

  6. So X got almost everyone except for conspiracy theorists?

    1. Nah! There are loads of free thinkers around, you should meet my friend Billy who’s a middle manager but keeps up with the latest info on Area 51!

  7. So X is avoiding this large group of people because....?

    1. Like I said, we’re too smart to get tricked, unlike the sheeple!

  8. So if X can only get the dumb ‘sheeple’, and can’t trick smart freethinking folks, why are you telling me all this?

    1. They can get more evil, duh! Plus I need allies on my fight!

  9. If we can freely organize to fight back doesn’t that mean they don’t actually rule the entire world and/​or are not really that evil?

    1. ...

Notice during the course of this hypothetical conversation that the initial claims are walked back bit by bit until a much more modest, and unimpressive, claim emerges. It goes from ‘X rules the world!’ to ‘X has partial control over the world except for Y’

By the end, even the most charitable, self consistent, interpretation is that there’s this secret organization X, that apparently is so competent as to rule the vast majority of mankind while successfully hiding themselves, yet is somehow too weak to advance upon the remainder, Y. So weak in fact that they let Y freely expose them and agitate for a counterattack.

(There’s also the limited case in which ‘X rules a specific area of the world except for Y’, also known as countries.)

Needless to say, even the most charitable interpretation is not the most parsimonious or plausible explanation for the organization of present day human society.

(Interestingly, this type of deflation of claims is so common as to be often encountered in any sustained conversation that begins with a dramatic claim. Perhaps that’s indicative of the human tendency to embellish, or fabricate, fabulous stories. )

Thus it can be said that theories of the type ‘X rules the world’ are in fact self-defeating due to their form. Because both the claimant and the listener are necessarily part of the world supposedly being ruled, supposedly smart enough to understand and do something about it, yet also unimportant enough to not be part of the ruling hierarchy or its subjects. A very unlikely combination.

I picked this specific example because it was the easiest to demonstrate the absurdities that arise when the claim is really interrogated. There are other types that are similarly self-defeating and which I leave to your imagination.