I don’t think this is about doing what you think best, it’s about allowing you to do what you think best. And yes, you should definitely threaten abandonment in these cases, or at least you’re definitely entitled to threatening and/or practicing abandonment in such cases.
Is this generalizable? Should I, too, threaten my loved ones with abandonment whenever they don’t do what I think would be best?
I don’t think this is about doing what you think best, it’s about allowing you to do what you think best. And yes, you should definitely threaten abandonment in these cases, or at least you’re definitely entitled to threatening and/or practicing abandonment in such cases.
I’m not sure. It might work, but you’re going outside of my areas of expertise.