If I was going to make a guess, I suspect that saying X is selfish can easily lead to the rejoinder, “It is my money I have the right to chose what to do with it,” especially within the modern world. Saying X is selfish so it shouldn’t be done, can also be seen as interfering with another persons business which is frowned upon in lots of social circles. It is also called moralising. So she may be unconsciously avoiding that response.
This may be true in some cases, but I don’t think it is in this one; my mom has no trouble moralizing on any other topic, even ones about which I care a great deal more than I do about cryonics. For example, she’s criticized polyamory as unrealistic and bisexuality as non-existent on multiple occasions, both of which have a rather significant impact on how I live my life.
I wasn’t there at the discussions, but those seem different types of statements than saying that they are “wrong/selfish” and that by implication you are a bad person for doing them. She is impugning your judgement in all cases rather than your character.
An important distinction, it’s true. I feel like it should make a difference in this situation that I declared my intention to not pursue cryopreservation, but I’m not sure that it does.
Either way, I can think of other specific occasions when my mom has specifically impugned my character as well as my judgment. (“Lazy” is the word that most immediately springs to mind, but there are others.)
It occurs to me that as I continue to add details my mom begins to look like a more and more horrible person; this is generally not the case.
If I was going to make a guess, I suspect that saying X is selfish can easily lead to the rejoinder, “It is my money I have the right to chose what to do with it,” especially within the modern world. Saying X is selfish so it shouldn’t be done, can also be seen as interfering with another persons business which is frowned upon in lots of social circles. It is also called moralising. So she may be unconsciously avoiding that response.
This may be true in some cases, but I don’t think it is in this one; my mom has no trouble moralizing on any other topic, even ones about which I care a great deal more than I do about cryonics. For example, she’s criticized polyamory as unrealistic and bisexuality as non-existent on multiple occasions, both of which have a rather significant impact on how I live my life.
I wasn’t there at the discussions, but those seem different types of statements than saying that they are “wrong/selfish” and that by implication you are a bad person for doing them. She is impugning your judgement in all cases rather than your character.
An important distinction, it’s true. I feel like it should make a difference in this situation that I declared my intention to not pursue cryopreservation, but I’m not sure that it does.
Either way, I can think of other specific occasions when my mom has specifically impugned my character as well as my judgment. (“Lazy” is the word that most immediately springs to mind, but there are others.)
It occurs to me that as I continue to add details my mom begins to look like a more and more horrible person; this is generally not the case.