I’m going to give you some advice as a professional woman. I very deeply resent when male colleagues compete with each other to put on a display for women. … It comes across as focusing on the other men and ignoring the women’s contributions. Treating the men as rivals and the women as prizes. Sucky for everyone all around.
This is not what PUAs advocate as the best way of relating to women, much less in the workplace. The short version is that PUAs are advised to treat women like they would a male friend, and to see only themselves as a possible prize, never the women. While some measure of “projecting male presence and authority” might be involved, it would be a lot subtler than you are implying, and it would never get in the way of actual discussion.
You’re probably modeling your remarks on the common variety of “A-type” personalities, who also like to project dominance. But these folks are not PUAs—many things they do are just wrong and dysfunctional, particularly in a workplace environment. At the same time, we do need to care about these issues. Just focusing on “being the most knowledgeable about the topic” with no attention to social presence is not the answer. It will cause others to regard you as an obnoxious know-it-all, not a valuable asset in your team.
This is not what PUAs advocate as the best way of relating to women, much less in the workplace. The short version is that PUAs are advised to treat women like they would a male friend, and to see only themselves as a possible prize, never the women. While some measure of “projecting male presence and authority” might be involved, it would be a lot subtler than you are implying, and it would never get in the way of actual discussion.
You’re probably modeling your remarks on the common variety of “A-type” personalities, who also like to project dominance. But these folks are not PUAs—many things they do are just wrong and dysfunctional, particularly in a workplace environment. At the same time, we do need to care about these issues. Just focusing on “being the most knowledgeable about the topic” with no attention to social presence is not the answer. It will cause others to regard you as an obnoxious know-it-all, not a valuable asset in your team.