“Allow” is a strange word; when I’m rehearsing to myself what a terrible person I am it’s more like “I caused this bad thing to happen because of my terribleness.”
When you feel that way, do you feel that terribleness in you is an inherent unchangeable state, like ‘vanquishes dark lords’, which causes bad things to happen around you?
Meta: I’m not trying to do anything related to blame; I’m trying to understand something odd and interesting, with a likely side effect of being able to provide useful advice.
Can you project that onto outside influences? I’ve got qualms about suggesting how to blame other people, but can you replace “I am a terrible person” with “I have bad luck”?
So then, NOT attempting to do so must be evidence that you aren’t a terrible person? Would it help to consider all of the things that you could have done worse?
Do you emotionally believe that only terrible people allow bad things to happen?
“Allow” is a strange word; when I’m rehearsing to myself what a terrible person I am it’s more like “I caused this bad thing to happen because of my terribleness.”
When you feel that way, do you feel that terribleness in you is an inherent unchangeable state, like ‘vanquishes dark lords’, which causes bad things to happen around you?
Meta: I’m not trying to do anything related to blame; I’m trying to understand something odd and interesting, with a likely side effect of being able to provide useful advice.
That is the worry, yes.
Can you project that onto outside influences? I’ve got qualms about suggesting how to blame other people, but can you replace “I am a terrible person” with “I have bad luck”?
In the case I have in mind, attempting to do so would provide more evidence that I am a terrible person.
So then, NOT attempting to do so must be evidence that you aren’t a terrible person? Would it help to consider all of the things that you could have done worse?
Not particularly.