I don’t know if we have enough expertise in psychology to give such advice correctly, or if such expertise even exists today. But for me personally, it was important to realize that anger is a sign of weakness. I should have a lot of strength and courage, but minimize signs of anger or any kind of wild lashing out. It feels like the best way to carry myself, both in friendly arguments, and in actual conflicts.
Curious if you feel like the advice I gave would have also helped:
Having said that, self-leadership doesn’t mean never getting angry—it just means never fully giving in to that anger or wielding it with the goal of hurting another person (or another part of yourself). Self-leadership might involve telling the other person that you feel angry at them, but without launching into a tirade; or telling them that you need to go on a walk to calm down, but giving them a reassuring gesture before you leave. In other words, self-leadership means that while your angry parts can’t seize full control, neither can the parts of you that want to suppress your anger.
I think that “anger is a sign of weakness” is directionally correct for some people but that “minimize signs of anger” is the wrong long-term goal. (I do agree that minimizing wild lashing out is a good goal though.)
I don’t know if we have enough expertise in psychology to give such advice correctly, or if such expertise even exists today. But for me personally, it was important to realize that anger is a sign of weakness. I should have a lot of strength and courage, but minimize signs of anger or any kind of wild lashing out. It feels like the best way to carry myself, both in friendly arguments, and in actual conflicts.
Curious if you feel like the advice I gave would have also helped:
I think that “anger is a sign of weakness” is directionally correct for some people but that “minimize signs of anger” is the wrong long-term goal. (I do agree that minimizing wild lashing out is a good goal though.)
Yeah, I think this is right.