If your problem is along the lines of treating debates as competitions and getting caught up in winning the argument rather than finding the truth, I can completely relate. What I’ve found extremely helpful is trying to be mindful of that hazard when debating. If you notice yourself, say, tearing down your opponent’s argument over what you know to be an easily fixed flaw, give yourself a bit of negative feedback (no! bad!). On the other hand if you notice yourself acknowledging a flaw in your argument, publicly renouncing a previously held position or otherwise changing your mind, give yourself a mental pat on the head (nice! good job!).
It took me a long time but if I notice myself weaseling around and subtly changing my argument to avoid being wrong I get an instant, intense sinking feeling in my stomach. Likewise, if I say something like, “Wow, yeah good point, I was definitely wrong there,” I get a blossoming glow that spreads up my chest. These physical reminders are extremely reinforcing and I’ve completely flipped from hating to admit fault to really appreciating the experience.
Of course, its still reeeeally easy to push these cues out of your head if you’re emotionally invested in a debate even a small amount. Constant vigilance!
If your problem is along the lines of treating debates as competitions and getting caught up in winning the argument rather than finding the truth, I can completely relate. What I’ve found extremely helpful is trying to be mindful of that hazard when debating. If you notice yourself, say, tearing down your opponent’s argument over what you know to be an easily fixed flaw, give yourself a bit of negative feedback (no! bad!). On the other hand if you notice yourself acknowledging a flaw in your argument, publicly renouncing a previously held position or otherwise changing your mind, give yourself a mental pat on the head (nice! good job!).
It took me a long time but if I notice myself weaseling around and subtly changing my argument to avoid being wrong I get an instant, intense sinking feeling in my stomach. Likewise, if I say something like, “Wow, yeah good point, I was definitely wrong there,” I get a blossoming glow that spreads up my chest. These physical reminders are extremely reinforcing and I’ve completely flipped from hating to admit fault to really appreciating the experience.
Of course, its still reeeeally easy to push these cues out of your head if you’re emotionally invested in a debate even a small amount. Constant vigilance!