I don’t think I handle fear very rationally. Here are a few examples:
I remember at one point I had to point out to myself that while existential risk was a problem, it wasn’t a problem that I could solve with a single adrenaline rush, so losing sleep over it because I was tensed up was not going to help anyone and would just make me a worse worker and thinker. Now instead, I wake up in the middle of the night convinced I have this other idea that simply MUST be thought about and solved because I have an entirely fresh perspective on some other problem and I need to flesh out this idea, and if I go right back to sleep I will forget about it, which means I’m doing the exact same thing I did with existential risk, but with other things.
This idea is usually coherent, but never as impressive or irreplaceable as I convince myself in my head, I have yet to actually act on any of the ideas, and in some cases, I even read a news article later that relates to people who have not only had the idea but have actually prototyped it already. Which means that if I forget them, it’s not a big loss. Yet I keep losing sleep over the fact that I have to think about them.
I think there are a number of other cases where my reaction to a risk is still entirely overblown for no reason that I can currently figure out. Things like “I made a small mistake at work. I’m probably going to get fired.” or “My wife and I got into a small argument where I raised my voice. She’s probably going to divorce me.” or “I worry about things too much, I’m going to give myself an early heart attack from stress.”
I think a much more realistic and likely fear that I think would be more rational to address first is “I’m going to get into a car accident because I don’t sleep well enough at night” (Partially because of being too busy worrying but there are other reasons too.) I should probably devote the vast majority of my worrying to that, which means I shouldn’t worry about it because one good way to help solve that problem is to relax.
I think I have done that at times, although in the form of getting up, turning on my computer, writing the thoughts, saving them, and then trying to go back to sleep. That involves significantly more activity than a bedside notebook though, and that activity might itself be waking me up. Simplifying the number of steps necessary might help me get additional sleep, so it’s worth a try.
When I think of something I want to record quickly, and my computer isn’t at hand, I just record it as a text note or voice memo on my phone. (I have a dumbphone, but it still has voice memo capabilities.) I keep my phone by my bed when I sleep, and have Voice Memos set to a shortcut on the phone, so if I wake up with a thought, It’s really easy to record it. I haven’t actually re-listened to any of the ideas, since I know none of them are urgent, but just knowing that the thought is safely recorded and that I could theoretically continue working on it later is enough for me to relax and stop worrying about it. (I also back up the recordings to my computer occasionally for further peace of mind.)
I have become a notebook carrier precisely because the steps you describe were too large a trivial inconvenience, even with a computer to hand. First day I got it I filled a third (edit: no, a quarter) of it. May not help your sleep, but should help get more of the ideas down so you can see if they were worth it :-)
How do you use your notebook? What size do you use? I ask because I’ve been keeping a diary for more than a year that lives on my person at all times, and I boggle at the idea of filling a third of one in a day unless it’s a very small notebook indeed, or you have very large handwriting or do lots of doodling, mindmapping or such. I get about 270 words a page out of a Moleskine Pocket and it’s a habit I’m glad I picked up, even if I could be doing even better with it, it makes my memory much better, because I review them every so often.
A slightly-larger-than-A7-sized pocket notebook that was 50p from Asda. The pages are quite small − 50-ish words/page. I had a bit of stuff backed up in my head to get down—not quite mindmapping, but some looping through thoughts about thoughts and some sentences being followed with a paragraph of caveats. I’ve just counted pages, and I filled a quarter of it, not a third − 19 pages out of 80, single side. I keep it in my jacket pocket with a pen, though I’m largely home for the next week or two so should keep it closer to hand. I don’t actually do anything with the notes as yet; presumably one day I will type them up. Just getting it down helps clarify my thinking, though.
Yeah, cramping my hand into a claw took me about five minutes. I shook it out and continued …
Learning to grill oneself Socratically can help. I do quite a lot of my best thinking talking to myself, and tell loved ones this and firmly state my refusal to give it up when they look at me like I’m some sort of crazy person.
That is possible, but I currently suspect the circumstances more than the time. I’m essentially alone (my wife is sleeping), and I’m not distracted. (Because I’m in bed and not on a computer with an internet connection) The circumstances might also explain why the ideas are generally low quality (because there is no one to bounce them off for obvious flaws, and because I’m tired although I don’t realize it.)
My life currently has little scheduling freedom in general, but I do have a vacation time set between Chistmas and New years which I am taking at home, so I can continue noting any sleep disruptions with more ability to be flexible. A chance to take a break of caffeine and to have the freedom to nap if desired both sound good at this point.
When I think of something I want to record quickly, and my computer isn’t at hand, I just record it as a text note or voice memo on my phone. (I have a dumbphone, but it still has voice memo capabilities.) I keep my phone by my bed when I sleep, and have Voice Memos set to a shortcut on the phone, so if I wake up with a thought, It’s really easy to record it. I haven’t actually re-listened to any of the ideas, since I know none of them are urgent, but just knowing that the thought is safely recorded and that I could theoretically continue working on it later is enough for me to relax and stop worrying about it. (I also back up the recordings to my computer occasionally for further peace of mind.)
I don’t think I handle fear very rationally. Here are a few examples:
I remember at one point I had to point out to myself that while existential risk was a problem, it wasn’t a problem that I could solve with a single adrenaline rush, so losing sleep over it because I was tensed up was not going to help anyone and would just make me a worse worker and thinker. Now instead, I wake up in the middle of the night convinced I have this other idea that simply MUST be thought about and solved because I have an entirely fresh perspective on some other problem and I need to flesh out this idea, and if I go right back to sleep I will forget about it, which means I’m doing the exact same thing I did with existential risk, but with other things.
This idea is usually coherent, but never as impressive or irreplaceable as I convince myself in my head, I have yet to actually act on any of the ideas, and in some cases, I even read a news article later that relates to people who have not only had the idea but have actually prototyped it already. Which means that if I forget them, it’s not a big loss. Yet I keep losing sleep over the fact that I have to think about them.
I think there are a number of other cases where my reaction to a risk is still entirely overblown for no reason that I can currently figure out. Things like “I made a small mistake at work. I’m probably going to get fired.” or “My wife and I got into a small argument where I raised my voice. She’s probably going to divorce me.” or “I worry about things too much, I’m going to give myself an early heart attack from stress.”
I think a much more realistic and likely fear that I think would be more rational to address first is “I’m going to get into a car accident because I don’t sleep well enough at night” (Partially because of being too busy worrying but there are other reasons too.) I should probably devote the vast majority of my worrying to that, which means I shouldn’t worry about it because one good way to help solve that problem is to relax.
Will a bedside notebook help, or just make it worse?
I think I have done that at times, although in the form of getting up, turning on my computer, writing the thoughts, saving them, and then trying to go back to sleep. That involves significantly more activity than a bedside notebook though, and that activity might itself be waking me up. Simplifying the number of steps necessary might help me get additional sleep, so it’s worth a try.
When I think of something I want to record quickly, and my computer isn’t at hand, I just record it as a text note or voice memo on my phone. (I have a dumbphone, but it still has voice memo capabilities.) I keep my phone by my bed when I sleep, and have Voice Memos set to a shortcut on the phone, so if I wake up with a thought, It’s really easy to record it. I haven’t actually re-listened to any of the ideas, since I know none of them are urgent, but just knowing that the thought is safely recorded and that I could theoretically continue working on it later is enough for me to relax and stop worrying about it. (I also back up the recordings to my computer occasionally for further peace of mind.)
I have become a notebook carrier precisely because the steps you describe were too large a trivial inconvenience, even with a computer to hand. First day I got it I filled a third (edit: no, a quarter) of it. May not help your sleep, but should help get more of the ideas down so you can see if they were worth it :-)
Hello fellow notebook carrier!
How do you use your notebook? What size do you use? I ask because I’ve been keeping a diary for more than a year that lives on my person at all times, and I boggle at the idea of filling a third of one in a day unless it’s a very small notebook indeed, or you have very large handwriting or do lots of doodling, mindmapping or such. I get about 270 words a page out of a Moleskine Pocket and it’s a habit I’m glad I picked up, even if I could be doing even better with it, it makes my memory much better, because I review them every so often.
A slightly-larger-than-A7-sized pocket notebook that was 50p from Asda. The pages are quite small − 50-ish words/page. I had a bit of stuff backed up in my head to get down—not quite mindmapping, but some looping through thoughts about thoughts and some sentences being followed with a paragraph of caveats. I’ve just counted pages, and I filled a quarter of it, not a third − 19 pages out of 80, single side. I keep it in my jacket pocket with a pen, though I’m largely home for the next week or two so should keep it closer to hand. I don’t actually do anything with the notes as yet; presumably one day I will type them up. Just getting it down helps clarify my thinking, though.
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Yeah, cramping my hand into a claw took me about five minutes. I shook it out and continued …
Learning to grill oneself Socratically can help. I do quite a lot of my best thinking talking to myself, and tell loved ones this and firmly state my refusal to give it up when they look at me like I’m some sort of crazy person.
Voice recognition software has gotten pretty good and conveniently portable.
Just sayin’.
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That is possible, but I currently suspect the circumstances more than the time. I’m essentially alone (my wife is sleeping), and I’m not distracted. (Because I’m in bed and not on a computer with an internet connection) The circumstances might also explain why the ideas are generally low quality (because there is no one to bounce them off for obvious flaws, and because I’m tired although I don’t realize it.)
My life currently has little scheduling freedom in general, but I do have a vacation time set between Chistmas and New years which I am taking at home, so I can continue noting any sleep disruptions with more ability to be flexible. A chance to take a break of caffeine and to have the freedom to nap if desired both sound good at this point.
When I think of something I want to record quickly, and my computer isn’t at hand, I just record it as a text note or voice memo on my phone. (I have a dumbphone, but it still has voice memo capabilities.) I keep my phone by my bed when I sleep, and have Voice Memos set to a shortcut on the phone, so if I wake up with a thought, It’s really easy to record it. I haven’t actually re-listened to any of the ideas, since I know none of them are urgent, but just knowing that the thought is safely recorded and that I could theoretically continue working on it later is enough for me to relax and stop worrying about it. (I also back up the recordings to my computer occasionally for further peace of mind.)