One aspect of intelligence/rationality is estimating the productiveness of a conversation before it happens. Another is expressing your views in a way that sounds palatable even to those who disagree. Another is recognizing that on any given topic there are more knowledgeable people than you, and seeking them out. Another is directing most of your effort and emotion toward things you can influence. You can’t learn these things from a book though, you have to practice them.
I think I’m doing more or less okay in most of these (still room for a lot of improvement of course), my problem seems to be focused around:
1)
Another is expressing your views in a way that sounds palatable even to those who disagree.
I can only do this if I understand how someone thinks, and I have to get a better model of how people I usually wouldn’t really want to talk to think. (I need for my goals to be able to influence those kind of people as well)
2)
Another is directing most of your effort and emotion toward things you can influence.
I’m pretty good at avoiding wasted efforts, not good at all at directing my emotions toward things that I can actually influence.
You can’t learn these things from a book though, you have to practice them.
I’d say books make a stronger starting point for practice, but it hadn’t occurred me I could just try and choose to not get angry. I’ve managed to regulate my emotions before this way, though I never tried on quick emotions...
I’ve gotten advice that should make not feeling angry easier, but will also give practice a shot.
I should really make a habit to focus my emotions and attention toward stuff that actually matters, it screwed me up in a lot of ways already. Thanks.
One aspect of intelligence/rationality is estimating the productiveness of a conversation before it happens. Another is expressing your views in a way that sounds palatable even to those who disagree. Another is recognizing that on any given topic there are more knowledgeable people than you, and seeking them out. Another is directing most of your effort and emotion toward things you can influence. You can’t learn these things from a book though, you have to practice them.
I think I’m doing more or less okay in most of these (still room for a lot of improvement of course), my problem seems to be focused around:
1)
I can only do this if I understand how someone thinks, and I have to get a better model of how people I usually wouldn’t really want to talk to think. (I need for my goals to be able to influence those kind of people as well)
2)
I’m pretty good at avoiding wasted efforts, not good at all at directing my emotions toward things that I can actually influence.
I’d say books make a stronger starting point for practice, but it hadn’t occurred me I could just try and choose to not get angry. I’ve managed to regulate my emotions before this way, though I never tried on quick emotions...
I’ve gotten advice that should make not feeling angry easier, but will also give practice a shot.
I should really make a habit to focus my emotions and attention toward stuff that actually matters, it screwed me up in a lot of ways already. Thanks.