Keep in mind that what you are signaling to others is not what you intended to signal, but the message that others receive. Perhaps you want to signal that “costly signaling is mostly a zero-sum game and I like to opt out of zero-sum games”, but that’s almost certainly not the signal that anybody else is actually receiving.
More likely, by wearing clothes that don’t fit and don’t match, the signal that most people are receiving is:
I don’t care enough about social skills to invest energy into fashion, and so you can raise your probability that I haven’t invested energy into other social skills, either. If you talk to me, there is a greater probability that I will create an awkward situation than if you talk to somebody who is clearly fashionable. I am also more likely to exhibit other effects of lack of investment into social skills.
And remember, most of this isn’t conscious. If you haven’t studied this stuff explicitly, most likely what happens when somebody walks into the room who is badly dressed and walks with a hunch is a visceral feeling inside of you that you don’t have much desire to talk to that person and they make you a little bit uncomfortable. In contrast, if somebody walks into the room with open body language and good fashion and a big smile and a straight back, you’re more likely to feel like you want to be around that person and will have fun as a result of interacting with them. (I’m using ‘you’ in an arbitrary sense to talk about any particular person in a social situation.)
To those who read Wei Dai’s post:
Keep in mind that what you are signaling to others is not what you intended to signal, but the message that others receive. Perhaps you want to signal that “costly signaling is mostly a zero-sum game and I like to opt out of zero-sum games”, but that’s almost certainly not the signal that anybody else is actually receiving.
More likely, by wearing clothes that don’t fit and don’t match, the signal that most people are receiving is:
And remember, most of this isn’t conscious. If you haven’t studied this stuff explicitly, most likely what happens when somebody walks into the room who is badly dressed and walks with a hunch is a visceral feeling inside of you that you don’t have much desire to talk to that person and they make you a little bit uncomfortable. In contrast, if somebody walks into the room with open body language and good fashion and a big smile and a straight back, you’re more likely to feel like you want to be around that person and will have fun as a result of interacting with them. (I’m using ‘you’ in an arbitrary sense to talk about any particular person in a social situation.)
What impression would you say is apt to be given by positive body language combined with moderately bad clothes?