(Finishing off in a second comment; this was too long for one!)
It is mainly the difference between the map and the territory, that marks the difference between objective and subjective reality.
That comma makes my teeth itch.
The map, or how we perceive the territory, does not necessarily reflect the territory (reality) itself.
OK, this is better. Maybe this is the unpacking I was looking for after all. Still feels like it could take more explanatory work. Maybe you could even put this part a lot nearer the start of the essay, because it’s helping you get a bit closer to explaining what you might mean by “reality”, too. You’ve been keeping that very quiet up to now.
One can have directions on a map that appear to lead to somewhere quite interesting, but when acted out within the territory, can be misleading.
I like the concept you’re trying to get across here. I think this sentence could be improved a lot. “Somewhere quite interesting” is lame. Great opportunity to pick an awesome example! “Acted out” doesn’t seem right. Directions are things that you follow. Instead of “can be misleading”, pick an awful kind of place you could end up in by accident.
Changing a belief about something changes nothing but chemical firing patterns within the brain.
OK, this is the first we’ve really heard about the brain as opposed to the mind. Potentially a useful approach, but it comes out of left field a bit. Can you explain that you’re about to start talking about neuroscience before doing so, maybe?
The goal should be to attempt to draw maps as close as possible to the actual territory, but to do so, human fallibility must be admitted, and an attitude of humility should be taken up.
Wait, now we’re back with the maps analogy. The neuroscience bit went nowhere and didn’t seem to further your maps point either. What was the deal with that...?
“The goal” depends on what we’re trying to achieve. You haven’t specified that.
“An attitude of humility should be taken up” is awkward. Chuck it out and rewrite, I think.
I hope some of that advice was useful! Even if you disagree with all my criticisms and don’t like any of my suggestions, perhaps I’ve demonstrated something useful about fine-toothed-comb editing. It can really benefit your writing a lot. Just inspect each sentence closely in turn and find ways to improve it. There will almost always be ways! That’s before you even get as far as examining your structure at the paragraph level...
Good luck with improving your writing.
PS. The fact that I’ve been critiquing your writing means my own will have been riddled with horrible errors in these comments. I just fixed one instance—I have no doubt there are others. Sorry about that.
(Finishing off in a second comment; this was too long for one!)
That comma makes my teeth itch.
OK, this is better. Maybe this is the unpacking I was looking for after all. Still feels like it could take more explanatory work. Maybe you could even put this part a lot nearer the start of the essay, because it’s helping you get a bit closer to explaining what you might mean by “reality”, too. You’ve been keeping that very quiet up to now.
I like the concept you’re trying to get across here. I think this sentence could be improved a lot. “Somewhere quite interesting” is lame. Great opportunity to pick an awesome example! “Acted out” doesn’t seem right. Directions are things that you follow. Instead of “can be misleading”, pick an awful kind of place you could end up in by accident.
OK, this is the first we’ve really heard about the brain as opposed to the mind. Potentially a useful approach, but it comes out of left field a bit. Can you explain that you’re about to start talking about neuroscience before doing so, maybe?
Wait, now we’re back with the maps analogy. The neuroscience bit went nowhere and didn’t seem to further your maps point either. What was the deal with that...?
“The goal” depends on what we’re trying to achieve. You haven’t specified that.
“An attitude of humility should be taken up” is awkward. Chuck it out and rewrite, I think.
I hope some of that advice was useful! Even if you disagree with all my criticisms and don’t like any of my suggestions, perhaps I’ve demonstrated something useful about fine-toothed-comb editing. It can really benefit your writing a lot. Just inspect each sentence closely in turn and find ways to improve it. There will almost always be ways! That’s before you even get as far as examining your structure at the paragraph level...
Good luck with improving your writing.
PS. The fact that I’ve been critiquing your writing means my own will have been riddled with horrible errors in these comments. I just fixed one instance—I have no doubt there are others. Sorry about that.