I followed the standard Questioning Religion(TM) route. When I was twelve, our family had a bit of a crisis: my dad’s job looked insecure, my mother was having difficulty with her side of the family, and I was home schooled and acutely aware of the fact that this was why I had no social contact with my peers. At all. The solution, as my fundamentalist curriculum (complete with pictures of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden with dinosaurs(!) in the science texts (!!!) ) put it, was to pray for God to magically fix it. Which of course he could do, he’s omnipotent! He’s God! And he loves all the little children, right?
Several weeks of ardent praying later, my twelve year old self began to smell something fishy. Coincidentally, in the mandatory Bible class (these were DVD correspondence courses), the teacher told the class, “God answers prayers with ‘Yes, no, or maybe.’ ”
“Well, what on earth is the point of praying, then?” said my twelve year old self. I stopped praying. Coincidentally, my life drastically improved after that, so I felt that prayer hadn’t altered the outcome one iota. I came to the gut conclusion that Christianity couldn’t be right. Mandatory reading of the Bible convinced me that the God of the Bible was a pretty evil guy, if he existed. However, I was limited by the aforementioned abomination of a science text, revisionist history books (which identified all groups who disagreed with the author’s exact viewpoint as being wrong and/or Communists), and I was too intimidated by my mother to go check out some decent books on evolution to get the counter-arguments to the Fundamentalist propaganda I was being fed. It would take me another eight years to actually be able to fully back up why I wasn’t religious.
On a side note, my grandmother used to be really into New Age… stuff. She gave my mother a whole bunch of books on meditation and seeing energy in trees. The ridiculousness of this stuff probably inoculated me against religion in general, because I could easily see that New Age stuff didn’t match with reality (I couldn’t see energy in trees) and that left me skeptical of all religion. Also, my dad himself is non-religious. He never really spoke about his lack of belief to me (I think my mother pressured him not to), but he set an example as a completely awesome, well-put together guy who didn’t need religion to prop up his life. Also, we watched a lot of Star Trek and astronomy shows together.
Once I hit college, I focused on shoring up the leaky holes in my education. I finally got my hands on Dawkin’s The God Delusion, which finally killed the specter of religious indoctrination that had been lurking in the background. I found LW’s Sequences not too long ago as well, they went a long way towards explaining why people around me seemed so insane and illogical. I gave myself a new commitment towards seeking the truth and have finally started slowly coming out as an atheist and a rationalist. (Working on my mother, now, and very much not looking forward to that conversation.)
So yeah. It was oddly anti-climatic, really. Once I escaped to the relative sanity of community college, the religious stuff stopped being so controlling in my life, and my dad is very supportive of my atheism/rationalism. I am oddly grateful for religion giving me that initial distrust of authority that turned me towards rationalism.
I followed the standard Questioning Religion(TM) route. When I was twelve, our family had a bit of a crisis: my dad’s job looked insecure, my mother was having difficulty with her side of the family, and I was home schooled and acutely aware of the fact that this was why I had no social contact with my peers. At all. The solution, as my fundamentalist curriculum (complete with pictures of Adam and Eve in the garden of Eden with dinosaurs(!) in the science texts (!!!) ) put it, was to pray for God to magically fix it. Which of course he could do, he’s omnipotent! He’s God! And he loves all the little children, right?
Several weeks of ardent praying later, my twelve year old self began to smell something fishy. Coincidentally, in the mandatory Bible class (these were DVD correspondence courses), the teacher told the class, “God answers prayers with ‘Yes, no, or maybe.’ ”
“Well, what on earth is the point of praying, then?” said my twelve year old self. I stopped praying. Coincidentally, my life drastically improved after that, so I felt that prayer hadn’t altered the outcome one iota. I came to the gut conclusion that Christianity couldn’t be right. Mandatory reading of the Bible convinced me that the God of the Bible was a pretty evil guy, if he existed. However, I was limited by the aforementioned abomination of a science text, revisionist history books (which identified all groups who disagreed with the author’s exact viewpoint as being wrong and/or Communists), and I was too intimidated by my mother to go check out some decent books on evolution to get the counter-arguments to the Fundamentalist propaganda I was being fed. It would take me another eight years to actually be able to fully back up why I wasn’t religious.
On a side note, my grandmother used to be really into New Age… stuff. She gave my mother a whole bunch of books on meditation and seeing energy in trees. The ridiculousness of this stuff probably inoculated me against religion in general, because I could easily see that New Age stuff didn’t match with reality (I couldn’t see energy in trees) and that left me skeptical of all religion. Also, my dad himself is non-religious. He never really spoke about his lack of belief to me (I think my mother pressured him not to), but he set an example as a completely awesome, well-put together guy who didn’t need religion to prop up his life. Also, we watched a lot of Star Trek and astronomy shows together.
Once I hit college, I focused on shoring up the leaky holes in my education. I finally got my hands on Dawkin’s The God Delusion, which finally killed the specter of religious indoctrination that had been lurking in the background. I found LW’s Sequences not too long ago as well, they went a long way towards explaining why people around me seemed so insane and illogical. I gave myself a new commitment towards seeking the truth and have finally started slowly coming out as an atheist and a rationalist. (Working on my mother, now, and very much not looking forward to that conversation.)
So yeah. It was oddly anti-climatic, really. Once I escaped to the relative sanity of community college, the religious stuff stopped being so controlling in my life, and my dad is very supportive of my atheism/rationalism. I am oddly grateful for religion giving me that initial distrust of authority that turned me towards rationalism.