This is hardly unique to situations involving gender.
For instance, sometimes this sort of thing happens —
Person A makes a decision or takes an action that hurts Person B — perhaps accidentally; perhaps out of negligence or bias.
Person B makes a demand — such as restitution for the harm done; or that the situation be corrected so that people like A won’t hurt people any more.
A or A’s supporters ignore or deflect B’s demand, saying things such as that A’s decision-making role is difficult; that A’s guilt over hurting B is unpleasant to A; or that continuing to discuss A’s mistake (and not “moving on”) is a sign of malice, unfairness, or mental imbalance on B’s part.
That’s derailing: Person A changing the subject from “A hurt B, and B wants it fixed” to “A’s life is so hard and people are being so harsh to A” in order to avoid talking about fixing the situation for B, the injured party.
That’s derailing: Person A changing the subject from “A hurt B, and B wants it fixed” to “A’s life is so hard and people are being so harsh to A” in order to avoid talking about fixing the situation for B, the injured party.
Let’s pick an example to make things more concrete. Person B owns a field, and Person A runs trains on a nearby railroad that throw dangerous sparks onto the field. Person B demands that Person A either stop the trains from passing near his property, or else fit them with a mechanism that will prevent sparks. Now Person A complains that the trains are used by low-income commuters who will be forced to pay unreasonably high prices in order to cover these additional costs. Is Person A “derailing the conversation”, or is this a valid point? Extra credit: What might influence your answer to this question?
This is hardly unique to situations involving gender.
For instance, sometimes this sort of thing happens —
Person A makes a decision or takes an action that hurts Person B — perhaps accidentally; perhaps out of negligence or bias.
Person B makes a demand — such as restitution for the harm done; or that the situation be corrected so that people like A won’t hurt people any more.
A or A’s supporters ignore or deflect B’s demand, saying things such as that A’s decision-making role is difficult; that A’s guilt over hurting B is unpleasant to A; or that continuing to discuss A’s mistake (and not “moving on”) is a sign of malice, unfairness, or mental imbalance on B’s part.
That’s derailing: Person A changing the subject from “A hurt B, and B wants it fixed” to “A’s life is so hard and people are being so harsh to A” in order to avoid talking about fixing the situation for B, the injured party.
Yes, I agree that it’s not unique to situations involving gender.
Let’s pick an example to make things more concrete. Person B owns a field, and Person A runs trains on a nearby railroad that throw dangerous sparks onto the field. Person B demands that Person A either stop the trains from passing near his property, or else fit them with a mechanism that will prevent sparks. Now Person A complains that the trains are used by low-income commuters who will be forced to pay unreasonably high prices in order to cover these additional costs. Is Person A “derailing the conversation”, or is this a valid point? Extra credit: What might influence your answer to this question?