intellectually I know that I have no good reason to disapprove of people who try, and that the fact that I do disapprove of them doesn’t make me any better a person.
Right—but intellectually knowing that doesn’t help. What does is imagining what it would be like to actually approve of them.
Try it. It won’t lead to you actually spending time with people you annoy you, but it will either lift the feeling of annoyance or move you towards surfacing your real rejection here.
You might notice that I suggested imagining being approving and smiling warmly at the people in question; you might also notice that it’s the one thing your brain has consistently avoided doing ever since. ;-)
Right—but intellectually knowing that doesn’t help. What does is imagining what it would be like to actually approve of them.
Try it. It won’t lead to you actually spending time with people you annoy you, but it will either lift the feeling of annoyance or move you towards surfacing your real rejection here.
You might notice that I suggested imagining being approving and smiling warmly at the people in question; you might also notice that it’s the one thing your brain has consistently avoided doing ever since. ;-)