It draws a lot of attention to the airstrikes comment which is unfortunate.
Stressful to read
A quick comment on changes that I would probably make to the article:
Make the message less about EY so it is harder to attack the messenger and undermine the message.
Reference other supporting authorities and sources of evidence, so this seems like a more evidenced backed view point. Particularly more conventional ones because EY has no conventional credentials (AFAIK)
Make it clear that more and more people (ideally like/admired by the target audience, perhaps policymakers/civil servants in this case) are starting to worry about AI/act accordingly (leverage social proof/dynamic norms)
Make the post flow a little better to increase fluency and ease of understanding (hard to be precise about what to do here but I didn’t think that it read as well as it could have)
Make the post more relatable by choosing examples that will be more familiar to relevant readers (e.g., not stockfish).
Don’t mention the airstrikes—keep the call for action urgent and strong but vague so that you aren’t vulnerable to people taking a quote out of context.
Finish with some sort of call to action or next steps for the people who were actually motivated.
[Reposting from a Facebook thread discussing the article because my thoughts may be of interest]
I woke to see this shared by Timnit Gebru on my Linkedin and getting 100s of engagements. https://twitter.com/xriskology/status/1642155518570512384
It draws a lot of attention to the airstrikes comment which is unfortunate.
Stressful to read
A quick comment on changes that I would probably make to the article:
Make the message less about EY so it is harder to attack the messenger and undermine the message.
Reference other supporting authorities and sources of evidence, so this seems like a more evidenced backed view point. Particularly more conventional ones because EY has no conventional credentials (AFAIK)
Make it clear that more and more people (ideally like/admired by the target audience, perhaps policymakers/civil servants in this case) are starting to worry about AI/act accordingly (leverage social proof/dynamic norms)
Make the post flow a little better to increase fluency and ease of understanding (hard to be precise about what to do here but I didn’t think that it read as well as it could have)
Make the post more relatable by choosing examples that will be more familiar to relevant readers (e.g., not stockfish).
Don’t mention the airstrikes—keep the call for action urgent and strong but vague so that you aren’t vulnerable to people taking a quote out of context.
Finish with some sort of call to action or next steps for the people who were actually motivated.