I somehow never thought to combine Homestuck wild mass guessing with prediction markets. And didn’t really expect this on LW, for some reason. Holy cow.
Hm, let’s try my two favorite pet theories...
In a truly magnificent Moebius double reacharound, The troll universe will turn out to have been created by the kids’ session (either pre- or post- scratch): 40% (used to be higher, but now we have some asymmetries between the sessions, like The Tumor, so.)
In an even more bizarre mindscrew that echoes paradox cloning, the various kids and guardians will turn out to be the same people in both sessions (e.g. Poppop Crocker is the very same John we know, the Bro that cuts the meteor is the same one who programmed the auto-responder, etc.). That means that, at least for the Derse dreamers, each of them raised their own guardian, probably inflicting upon them whichever neurosis they got from them in the first place.
35% on this one, because it entails some heavy-duty time shenaniganry. But I still like this one best :3
And on a more light-hearted note…
Human-troll sloppy makeouts to happen at any point in the story: 90%
(all these predictions are not time-bound to 2012 - apply until the end of the story, including the Epilogue)
I’ll go 90%, now that Hussie has cleverly alluded to it by having Roxy’s name for Jaspers (Frigglish) be the same as a character in Complacency of the Learned that gets crushed by a large book.
That seems vastly underconfident and I don’t even know what Homestuckis. My guess is that the “not canon” part is what drives it down. Some slight research suggests this is a correct estimation of the author’s attitude.
Why Mind? Terezi ain’t going anywhere; or at least, she better not. I’m thinking either Heart (poor Nepeta ;___;) or Doom.
EDIT (WARNING: CONJUNCTION FALLACY, SPOILERS AHOY): So my prevailing theory is that the pre-Scratch kids, the surviving trolls, and the post-Scratch kids all join forces and make up a 12-person group in the post-Scratch session. In the post-Scratch session, the prototyping rings of Derse and Prospit only get four charges, so it’ll be much easier than the troll’s session.
The four kids give us Breath, Light, Time and Space. Of the remaining trolls, this theory predicts Aradia dies a heroic death holding back Troll!Jack. That leaves Blood, Rage, Mind, and Doom.
Jane is pretty clearly Life, and Jake is Hope. That leaves Void and Heart. Rolal’s dreamself wanders the Furthest Ring and is hard to keep track of, so that makes Void more likely. Di-Stri’s recent pesterlog was emotionally intelligent, so I favor him to be Heart.
Of course, now I have to explain how Aradia dies to Troll!Jack, but somehow Sollux survives.
1.0 is not a probability. All the protons that compose him might simultaneously decay while he’s being hit with a back hole and the simulation we’re on is shut down. In that case it might be as low as 90% chance of that still happening.
Casually wonders how many Homestuckers on LW.
I somehow never thought to combine Homestuck wild mass guessing with prediction markets. And didn’t really expect this on LW, for some reason. Holy cow.
Hm, let’s try my two favorite pet theories...
In a truly magnificent Moebius double reacharound, The troll universe will turn out to have been created by the kids’ session (either pre- or post- scratch): 40% (used to be higher, but now we have some asymmetries between the sessions, like The Tumor, so.)
In an even more bizarre mindscrew that echoes paradox cloning, the various kids and guardians will turn out to be the same people in both sessions (e.g. Poppop Crocker is the very same John we know, the Bro that cuts the meteor is the same one who programmed the auto-responder, etc.). That means that, at least for the Derse dreamers, each of them raised their own guardian, probably inflicting upon them whichever neurosis they got from them in the first place. 35% on this one, because it entails some heavy-duty time shenaniganry. But I still like this one best :3
And on a more light-hearted note… Human-troll sloppy makeouts to happen at any point in the story: 90%
(all these predictions are not time-bound to 2012 - apply until the end of the story, including the Epilogue)
I’m fairly convinced (65%) that Lalonde appearified the Sassacre book in such a way that it killed Jaspers, which is why she had to leave so abruptly.
I’ll go 90%, now that Hussie has cleverly alluded to it by having Roxy’s name for Jaspers (Frigglish) be the same as a character in Complacency of the Learned that gets crushed by a large book.
Hussie will tease various ships, but ultimately, none will be made canon: 55%.
That seems vastly underconfident and I don’t even know what Homestuck is. My guess is that the “not canon” part is what drives it down. Some slight research suggests this is a correct estimation of the author’s attitude.
… . .-. . -. .. - -.-- / .-. ..- .-.. . …
Post-Scratch!Bro will be revealed as the Hero of Mind: 65%.
Dirk Strider is the Prince of Heart. Sorry, taelor.
Well, that was bust. Heart it is.
Why Mind? Terezi ain’t going anywhere; or at least, she better not. I’m thinking either Heart (poor Nepeta ;___;) or Doom.
EDIT (WARNING: CONJUNCTION FALLACY, SPOILERS AHOY): So my prevailing theory is that the pre-Scratch kids, the surviving trolls, and the post-Scratch kids all join forces and make up a 12-person group in the post-Scratch session. In the post-Scratch session, the prototyping rings of Derse and Prospit only get four charges, so it’ll be much easier than the troll’s session.
The four kids give us Breath, Light, Time and Space. Of the remaining trolls, this theory predicts Aradia dies a heroic death holding back Troll!Jack. That leaves Blood, Rage, Mind, and Doom.
Jane is pretty clearly Life, and Jake is Hope. That leaves Void and Heart. Rolal’s dreamself wanders the Furthest Ring and is hard to keep track of, so that makes Void more likely. Di-Stri’s recent pesterlog was emotionally intelligent, so I favor him to be Heart.
Of course, now I have to explain how Aradia dies to Troll!Jack, but somehow Sollux survives.
Oh, a few.
All the currently “dead” characters will re-enter the story by the conclusion of Act 7: 40%.
As a side note, had I been aware of this page a week ago, I could have posted my prediction about Jane not actually being dead, and been right.
In light of the most recent update, I’m raising this to 60%.
GCat has the good sense not to be prototyped into Jane’s kernelsprite before entering the medium: 70%
Tavros, somehow, ascends to God Tier: 5% (fly, pupa! flyyyyyyyyy!)
Jane becomes a catgirl: 40%
Vriska and Aradia return at an opportune moment: 70%
To save the day: 40%
Andrew Hussie will blow our minds: 1 - E
The Fandom will Flip their shit: 1 - E
Where E > 0. (i don’t know how to put a unicode epsilon in this post)
ETA: Okay, so maybe 100% is a mathematical impossibility. Can we settle for an epsilon-delta-esque construct instead?
1.0 is not a probability. All the protons that compose him might simultaneously decay while he’s being hit with a back hole and the simulation we’re on is shut down. In that case it might be as low as 90% chance of that still happening.