In this context, society’s enforcement mechanism is social pressure/shame. Your examples—speed dating, online dating, prostitution—are all considered more or less shameful (I know because I’ve seen the shamed body language of people admitting to them). This shows that society’s enforcement measures are working.
I don’t know what’s your reference group, but I don’t know anyone computer-literate who considers online dating shameful at all. It’s a mainstream activity, and is almost becoming the default way to find people to date.
It’s been a couple of years since I heard censure of online dating too, and I agree that it’s almost completely accepted among all the relevant people. I definitely meant it on the “less shameful” end of the spectrum.
But it’s been a while since I’ve heard anyone condemn gays, or atheists, or blacks. I try to ward myself against availability bias by reminding myself that my social group is likely to be a weird little bubble relative to the whole world. If I encountered people thinking online dating is shameful a few years ago, then I can be sure that many people still think so. I’m confident I could find them if I try.
Ok, I just tried, with a google search, and found this, from March 2009. It looks like online dating is still shameful for some people.
When I was recently considering signing up for OkCupid, I asked a few friends (actually on a forum, but a small intimate one) about their thoughts on this:
There’s still a stigma. That’s why people say “there’s no stigma anymore!”
(...which is what I was worried about. Of course, “a witty saying proves nothing”, but it makes sense—if there weren’t a stigma, there would be less need to defend it against claims that there’s still a stigma, and fewer people trying to.)
Okcupid is generally thought of as acceptable as long as you don’t take it too seriously. If anyone you know sees you on there, well, they have an account too.
(...which is a pretty good point too. So I took the plunge and joined.)
If that were the case, I’d expect to find a lot more people than I do on the main dating sites. Perhaps you meant to limit your statement to a certain demographic.
In this context, society’s enforcement mechanism is social pressure/shame. Your examples—speed dating, online dating, prostitution—are all considered more or less shameful (I know because I’ve seen the shamed body language of people admitting to them). This shows that society’s enforcement measures are working.
I don’t know what’s your reference group, but I don’t know anyone computer-literate who considers online dating shameful at all. It’s a mainstream activity, and is almost becoming the default way to find people to date.
It’s been a couple of years since I heard censure of online dating too, and I agree that it’s almost completely accepted among all the relevant people. I definitely meant it on the “less shameful” end of the spectrum.
But it’s been a while since I’ve heard anyone condemn gays, or atheists, or blacks. I try to ward myself against availability bias by reminding myself that my social group is likely to be a weird little bubble relative to the whole world. If I encountered people thinking online dating is shameful a few years ago, then I can be sure that many people still think so. I’m confident I could find them if I try.
Ok, I just tried, with a google search, and found this, from March 2009. It looks like online dating is still shameful for some people.
When I was recently considering signing up for OkCupid, I asked a few friends (actually on a forum, but a small intimate one) about their thoughts on this:
(...which is what I was worried about. Of course, “a witty saying proves nothing”, but it makes sense—if there weren’t a stigma, there would be less need to defend it against claims that there’s still a stigma, and fewer people trying to.)
(...which is a pretty good point too. So I took the plunge and joined.)
If that were the case, I’d expect to find a lot more people than I do on the main dating sites. Perhaps you meant to limit your statement to a certain demographic.
Where have you been looking, and what demographics are you after?
http://www.alexa.com/siteinfo/plentyoffish.com—huge, free, mostly 20s
http://www.alexa.com/siteinfo/match.com—huge, paid, mostly 30s
http://www.alexa.com/siteinfo/eharmony.com—huge, paid, marriage-oriented, mostly 40s
http://www.alexa.com/siteinfo/okcupid.com—not as huge, free, mostly 20s, smartest demographics of the major sites as far as I can tell
Yes, this matches my impression of the subject.