“Implication: Because extreme IQs are much rarer in girls than in guys, we have to either compete for a few highly intelligent, intellectually stimulating females who may share our lack in social skills, OR settle for merely above average IQ females who may lack some intellectual sparkle, but may be easier to find and better socially developed.”
Oh come now, I doubt the problem is that there are not enough ‘smart girls,’ and more that smart girls go for successful men and not isolated introverts. Actually, some of my more intelligent friends complain that they can’t find a man (that they would consider dating) that isn’t threatened by their intelligence. I’ve also heard the lament that successful men want housewives, but I don’t have much evidence for it. And also, how important is IQ in your mate preference really? It seems from my observations that ‘nerdy’ guys want quirky girls more than intelligent ones- the natalie protmans and junos (gag me with a spoon) of the world.
just to correct a bit here, Natalie Portman apparently has a rather high IQ, her being a multilingual Harvard graduate and all…
Poor example is all I’m saying, not questioning your point (yet)
Actually, some of my more intelligent friends complain that they can’t find a man (that they would consider dating) that isn’t threatened by their intelligence.
Now is this a social narrative, a post hoc justification of a failed relationship fueled by the self serving bias, or something else entirely?
Dating is one area of interest where anecdotage should be taken with a mountain of salt.
One way of testing the hypothesis that (many) men are put off by intelligent women would be to look at all the couples in a social circle. Is it true that none of the intelligent women are in heterosexual relationships?
While that idea is, in my eyes, a good blend of effective and practical, it doesn’t rule out all confounding explanations. If this pattern was found, it would not necessarily prove that their potential mates were intimidated by their intelligence.
Perhaps a way of testing it would be going to a dating service and telling random men that the woman they were dating was very intelligent (regardless of her actual intelligence)?
Reactions to profiles on dating services would be a good general test, though it might be harder to pull out data on particular social groups.
Do you believe that, in general people are bad at telling why they have trouble attracting partners, or do you think that the idea that men are put off by intelligent women is an especially unlikely hypothesis?
The former due to the rose tinted glasses of the self serving bias and the fundimental attribution error.
On a personal note I’m very attracted to intelligent women but I wouldn’t be surprised at all if men in general did find intellectual women intimidating.
Thank you for your input, Laura, but you have not quoted a study that would persuade me that what I know from other study reports is false. As far as I know, extreme IQ’s simply are more common among men than they are among women.
Since this is compatible with my own anecdotal experience, it is hard for me to be persuaded by your anecdotal experience, unless you can point to evidence stronger than that.
I would prefer this to be evidence that doesn’t attempt to disqualify the whole concept of IQ because of discomfort with the findings of IQ studies.
Now, as for the other issues you raise, those are fun to discuss, so I’ll engage, lack of scientific quality regardless… :)
“Smart girls go for successful men and not isolated introverts” is another way of saying “females are attracted to confidence and dominance”, as well as “high IQ does not necessarily mean confidence and dominance”. I would agree with that.
“Some of my more intelligent friends complain that they can’t find a man that isn’t threatened by their intelligence” probably means that those friends of yours aren’t that hot. Their intelligence compels them to find a guy that’s successful and at least as smart, but guys like that can get hot women, and guys prefer hot women to intelligent, but not that hot women.
I would personally not mind an extremely smart partner at all, but frankly, when one person is able to earn enough for the whole family, I do think it’s more convenient for the other person to be someone who is along for the ride, rather than someone whose career will try to pull the partnership, and the family, in conflicting directions. A successful career woman would possibly do better with a stay-at-home husband, which do exist, although it’s not quite the most traditional role.
“Implication: Because extreme IQs are much rarer in girls than in guys, we have to either compete for a few highly intelligent, intellectually stimulating females who may share our lack in social skills, OR settle for merely above average IQ females who may lack some intellectual sparkle, but may be easier to find and better socially developed.”
Oh come now, I doubt the problem is that there are not enough ‘smart girls,’ and more that smart girls go for successful men and not isolated introverts. Actually, some of my more intelligent friends complain that they can’t find a man (that they would consider dating) that isn’t threatened by their intelligence. I’ve also heard the lament that successful men want housewives, but I don’t have much evidence for it. And also, how important is IQ in your mate preference really? It seems from my observations that ‘nerdy’ guys want quirky girls more than intelligent ones- the natalie protmans and junos (gag me with a spoon) of the world.
just to correct a bit here, Natalie Portman apparently has a rather high IQ, her being a multilingual Harvard graduate and all… Poor example is all I’m saying, not questioning your point (yet)
Now is this a social narrative, a post hoc justification of a failed relationship fueled by the self serving bias, or something else entirely?
Dating is one area of interest where anecdotage should be taken with a mountain of salt.
One way of testing the hypothesis that (many) men are put off by intelligent women would be to look at all the couples in a social circle. Is it true that none of the intelligent women are in heterosexual relationships?
While that idea is, in my eyes, a good blend of effective and practical, it doesn’t rule out all confounding explanations. If this pattern was found, it would not necessarily prove that their potential mates were intimidated by their intelligence.
Perhaps a way of testing it would be going to a dating service and telling random men that the woman they were dating was very intelligent (regardless of her actual intelligence)?
Reactions to profiles on dating services would be a good general test, though it might be harder to pull out data on particular social groups.
Do you believe that, in general people are bad at telling why they have trouble attracting partners, or do you think that the idea that men are put off by intelligent women is an especially unlikely hypothesis?
The former due to the rose tinted glasses of the self serving bias and the fundimental attribution error.
On a personal note I’m very attracted to intelligent women but I wouldn’t be surprised at all if men in general did find intellectual women intimidating.
Thank you for your input, Laura, but you have not quoted a study that would persuade me that what I know from other study reports is false. As far as I know, extreme IQ’s simply are more common among men than they are among women.
Since this is compatible with my own anecdotal experience, it is hard for me to be persuaded by your anecdotal experience, unless you can point to evidence stronger than that.
I would prefer this to be evidence that doesn’t attempt to disqualify the whole concept of IQ because of discomfort with the findings of IQ studies.
Now, as for the other issues you raise, those are fun to discuss, so I’ll engage, lack of scientific quality regardless… :)
“Smart girls go for successful men and not isolated introverts” is another way of saying “females are attracted to confidence and dominance”, as well as “high IQ does not necessarily mean confidence and dominance”. I would agree with that.
“Some of my more intelligent friends complain that they can’t find a man that isn’t threatened by their intelligence” probably means that those friends of yours aren’t that hot. Their intelligence compels them to find a guy that’s successful and at least as smart, but guys like that can get hot women, and guys prefer hot women to intelligent, but not that hot women.
I would personally not mind an extremely smart partner at all, but frankly, when one person is able to earn enough for the whole family, I do think it’s more convenient for the other person to be someone who is along for the ride, rather than someone whose career will try to pull the partnership, and the family, in conflicting directions. A successful career woman would possibly do better with a stay-at-home husband, which do exist, although it’s not quite the most traditional role.