SOI—statement of intent—stating outright what you intend towards a woman, anything from, “I think you might be cool to hang out with”, to “[explicit details of what I’d like to do with you in bed tonight]”.
cold approach—meeting someone you don’t know
warm approach—being introduced, already knowing them online, etc.
alpha subcom—communicating confidence non-verbally: body language, facial expressions, gesture, posture, voice tone, inflection, word choice, stories told, beliefs and attitudes expressed… everything, pretty much. Acting as-if you are an attractive and desirable man, not in the way of trying to show it, but acting the way such a man would naturally act.
shit-test—a verbal or non-verbal challenge by a woman, usually in the form of being rude or implying the man has is unworthy or “not in her league”, but this can also be in the form of a false IOI (indicator of interest). For example, a woman who speaks in an aggressively sexual fashion, without any actual sexual interest, is often shit-testing to find out if the man will respond in a way that reveals he’s more desperate for sex than he’s trying to appear. In general, shit tests are when women probe to see how confident a guy actually is, versus what he’s pretending to be. This is obviously much more an issue with cold approach than other situation, but some women shit-test their way through entire relationships.
Shit tests are a controversial subject, to say the least. Having given it more thought, I now can remember being shit tested, but I don’t think I’ve ever slept with anyone who shit tested me on initial contact. However, I also kind of agree with the trainers who say that shit testing really is an indicator of interest, in the sense that a woman only shit tests because she wants to know if the guy is “for real”—that it’s like an instinct to pinch yourself to see if you’re dreaming.
Recently, my wife’s grandmother died, and she ended up shit-testing me because on an emotional level, she needed to know that I was strong and she was safe. I didn’t handle it well at first, because I didn’t realize that was what was going on; I thought she was being unreasonable and vicious towards me for no reason.
Once I understood, however, I was able to give her what she needed, and afterward she agreed with my interpretation; she just couldn’t tell me at the time, because on an emotional level it would’ve defeated the entire purpose. (This is not a regular occurrence, fortunately.)
(In female language, I’ve had women friends tell me that they want a guy who “doesn’t let them get away with anything” or “put up with their shit”. In other words, a guy who isn’t fazed by their shit tests, either by passively putting up with them, or by freaking out, but instead by setting boundaries and making her feel safe within them.)
social proof—evidence that you’re not a weird, creepy stalker or something, as demonstrated by having friends, especially female ones. esp. such proof in real-time, visual form—i.e., saying that you have friends doesn’t count for much.
pivot—female wingman, i.e., a woman who is with you to help you meet other women and/or get laid. Usually a friend who’s not attracted to you, but thinks you should get laid more often, and will spread helpful rumors or try to match you up. (At least, that’s the kind I have experience with. I never did “club game” with a pivot, just had a social network.)
LMR—“last minute resistance”—having doubts or seeking reassurance just before sex is about to happen. Often, this takes the form of a need for reassurance that the woman is not a slut or otherwise of questionable character just because she is having sex with a guy she “hardly knows”. I don’t have much experience with this because I was never in so much of a hurry to get laid. Some PUA trainers claim that you need to know someone for at least 7 hours in order to minimize LMR, and except for the women who sought me out, I’d always spent at least that much time with someone long before they dragged me to the bedroom. (Like I said, I’ve never been much of an initiator, at least outside the chat room.)
“open”—start a conversation and have it go somewhere, as opposed to immediate rejection or quickly fading into nothingness.
rapport stage—conversation stage where you actually start to get to know someone
kino—touching, either casual, flirtatious, or beyond
escalate—taking things past rapport, to some kind of action or relationship in the present or future
time bridge—smoothly establishing a reason for future contact, without making a big commitment or “date” out of it, e.g. talking about a cool art gallery early in the conversation, then ending by saying, “oh hey, I’m going to that gallery on Thursday with my friends, you should come check it out with us,” and exchanging numbers or email.
Whew. There is a lot of terminology, isn’t there? It really is a Conspiracy with a capital C. There are a lot of different schools, but the language tends to get shared across the board.
social proof appears to mean being seen with attractive female friends who, by their presence, act as references—“as a fellow woman, I approve of this man and voluntarily choose to associate with him”
LMR stands for Last Minute Resistance
kino basically means touching, even just socially
escalate means increasing the intensity of that touching
shit-test appears to refer to women testing men to see if they can be easily manipulated, and then discarding them if they are.
“direct game” seems to be what you refer to as tactlessness =)
I’m completely baffled by the jargon here. Can you provide a glossary?
SOI—statement of intent—stating outright what you intend towards a woman, anything from, “I think you might be cool to hang out with”, to “[explicit details of what I’d like to do with you in bed tonight]”.
cold approach—meeting someone you don’t know
warm approach—being introduced, already knowing them online, etc.
alpha subcom—communicating confidence non-verbally: body language, facial expressions, gesture, posture, voice tone, inflection, word choice, stories told, beliefs and attitudes expressed… everything, pretty much. Acting as-if you are an attractive and desirable man, not in the way of trying to show it, but acting the way such a man would naturally act.
shit-test—a verbal or non-verbal challenge by a woman, usually in the form of being rude or implying the man has is unworthy or “not in her league”, but this can also be in the form of a false IOI (indicator of interest). For example, a woman who speaks in an aggressively sexual fashion, without any actual sexual interest, is often shit-testing to find out if the man will respond in a way that reveals he’s more desperate for sex than he’s trying to appear. In general, shit tests are when women probe to see how confident a guy actually is, versus what he’s pretending to be. This is obviously much more an issue with cold approach than other situation, but some women shit-test their way through entire relationships.
Shit tests are a controversial subject, to say the least. Having given it more thought, I now can remember being shit tested, but I don’t think I’ve ever slept with anyone who shit tested me on initial contact. However, I also kind of agree with the trainers who say that shit testing really is an indicator of interest, in the sense that a woman only shit tests because she wants to know if the guy is “for real”—that it’s like an instinct to pinch yourself to see if you’re dreaming.
Recently, my wife’s grandmother died, and she ended up shit-testing me because on an emotional level, she needed to know that I was strong and she was safe. I didn’t handle it well at first, because I didn’t realize that was what was going on; I thought she was being unreasonable and vicious towards me for no reason.
Once I understood, however, I was able to give her what she needed, and afterward she agreed with my interpretation; she just couldn’t tell me at the time, because on an emotional level it would’ve defeated the entire purpose. (This is not a regular occurrence, fortunately.)
(In female language, I’ve had women friends tell me that they want a guy who “doesn’t let them get away with anything” or “put up with their shit”. In other words, a guy who isn’t fazed by their shit tests, either by passively putting up with them, or by freaking out, but instead by setting boundaries and making her feel safe within them.)
social proof—evidence that you’re not a weird, creepy stalker or something, as demonstrated by having friends, especially female ones. esp. such proof in real-time, visual form—i.e., saying that you have friends doesn’t count for much.
pivot—female wingman, i.e., a woman who is with you to help you meet other women and/or get laid. Usually a friend who’s not attracted to you, but thinks you should get laid more often, and will spread helpful rumors or try to match you up. (At least, that’s the kind I have experience with. I never did “club game” with a pivot, just had a social network.)
LMR—“last minute resistance”—having doubts or seeking reassurance just before sex is about to happen. Often, this takes the form of a need for reassurance that the woman is not a slut or otherwise of questionable character just because she is having sex with a guy she “hardly knows”. I don’t have much experience with this because I was never in so much of a hurry to get laid. Some PUA trainers claim that you need to know someone for at least 7 hours in order to minimize LMR, and except for the women who sought me out, I’d always spent at least that much time with someone long before they dragged me to the bedroom. (Like I said, I’ve never been much of an initiator, at least outside the chat room.)
“open”—start a conversation and have it go somewhere, as opposed to immediate rejection or quickly fading into nothingness.
rapport stage—conversation stage where you actually start to get to know someone
kino—touching, either casual, flirtatious, or beyond
escalate—taking things past rapport, to some kind of action or relationship in the present or future
time bridge—smoothly establishing a reason for future contact, without making a big commitment or “date” out of it, e.g. talking about a cool art gallery early in the conversation, then ending by saying, “oh hey, I’m going to that gallery on Thursday with my friends, you should come check it out with us,” and exchanging numbers or email.
Whew. There is a lot of terminology, isn’t there? It really is a Conspiracy with a capital C. There are a lot of different schools, but the language tends to get shared across the board.
bit of googling:
social proof appears to mean being seen with attractive female friends who, by their presence, act as references—“as a fellow woman, I approve of this man and voluntarily choose to associate with him”
LMR stands for Last Minute Resistance
kino basically means touching, even just socially
escalate means increasing the intensity of that touching
shit-test appears to refer to women testing men to see if they can be easily manipulated, and then discarding them if they are.
“direct game” seems to be what you refer to as tactlessness =)
I got nothing on subcom