I listened to about three minutes of the one about the narrator’s father. The humor wasn’t to my taste—a sort of silliness that just didn’t work.
I see you were trying not to be annoying, but I wasn’t crazy about the unclear context (was this a video game, a dream, or what?), the weird voices, and the narrator’s fear of his father.. My tentative suggestion is that you go for being as annoying as you feel like being, and see whether you can attract an audience who isn’t me.
Thank you for listening. There wasn’t really any context beyond ‘son returns to Father’s mansion’, and the matrimonial surprise revealed during his speech.
Would perhaps a static image in the background with text stating the above have helped?
I listened to about three minutes of the one about the narrator’s father. The humor wasn’t to my taste—a sort of silliness that just didn’t work.
I see you were trying not to be annoying, but I wasn’t crazy about the unclear context (was this a video game, a dream, or what?), the weird voices, and the narrator’s fear of his father.. My tentative suggestion is that you go for being as annoying as you feel like being, and see whether you can attract an audience who isn’t me.
Thank you for listening. There wasn’t really any context beyond ‘son returns to Father’s mansion’, and the matrimonial surprise revealed during his speech.
Would perhaps a static image in the background with text stating the above have helped?
You’re welcome.
An image wouldn’t have helped—my problem was with the monologue.