First of all—I’m not a psychiatrist. This comment is just my personal view.
“Capacity to enjoy things” and depression are quite different. If you enjoy X, and you are attached to/addicted to/obsessed with X, then when you lose X, you are likely to feel depressed.
Maybe you should not get exposed to X (e.g. drugs) or not get addicted to X (e.g. gambling).
Maybe you should start with changing your attitude and/or preferences. Believing that you’ve lost capacity to enjoy things probably lead you to make confirmation bias. Also, the past is sunk cost, man. You can learn from it, but you can’t recover it. Sometimes people hang happiness with expectations they set, so when they don’t meet their goals, they are sad. This is not gonna help them with their future plans. The trick here is you should learn to lose. Losing is ok—be it relationship, competition, wealth, reputation, etc—as long as you have a will to go on. There’s nothing to irritate about, man. With bounded rationality, we make mistakes sometimes, and this is a natural part of life.
Some saints and volunteer workers live in horrible conditions but they find happiness in helping other people. On the other hand, some investors commit suicide after a stock market crashes and they learn their portfolios are worthless. It’s amazing, yet sad, to think about how people set preferences, attitudes and relate results to happiness. sighs
Good points. I like it how you approach this with a rationality-based perspective, especially with the point about the sunk costs. I’ve tried to appreciate that I don’t really need anything in life, as long as I have the ability to live comfortably. And fact is, it is possible to live comfortably, even if I am in poverty (as long as I have food, safety, and a computer with an Internet connection).
“Believing that you’ve lost capacity to enjoy things probably lead you to make confirmation bias. ”
That is true. The only problem is that this bias has actually proved helpful with many things. I’ve coded up the term “stimuli redundancy” to explain it. Most social activities become very repetitive after a while (I use the term “stimuli redundancy” to describe them). Why is it so? Because the majority of social activities seem catered towards people who don’t like to learn (or don’t like to feel like they have to learn). And thus I get bored of them quickly. I’ve tried to assume otherwise—to assume that I may enjoy things that I end up not enjoying. But that has led to disappointment (and my consistently staring at my watch, waiting for the time when the activity could just end).
Of course, a recent article said that people are happier when their minds are occupied (rather than left to wander).
“it is possible to live comfortably, even if I am in poverty (as long as I have food, safety, and a computer with an Internet connection).”
I doubt that. (a) Are you speaking of poverty in absolute or relative terms? (b) While I don’t like modeling needs like Maslow and others, I find your list of needs not sufficient—and a computer is not necessary.
“I’ve tried to assume otherwise—to assume that I may enjoy things that I end up not enjoying”
Self deception is a paradox, and a paradox doesn’t work in normal conditions. So don’t assume anything.
“Because the majority of social activities seem catered towards people who don’t like to learn”
Do you think social activities are for learning what you think they should learn? Most social activities are for socialisation, not for learning, dude. Besides, there’re a lot of things to learn, man, only if you are a little perceptive. By observing their stupidity, you may learn something. I find it amusing sometimes to take note of every day fallacies and write them in fiction. :P Besides, I am kinda person who blends in with them well. Sometimes I pretend to be a little stupid to be able to conform to the group. It can be a good chance for you to learn to adapt. Adaptation is a necessary skill unless you want to live in solitude (which is very difficult, if not impossible).
And even if you don’t like an event, maybe because your calculation that you could have higher utility by spending time elsewhere, you can leave, making up some excuses if you have to.
“recent article said that people are happier when their minds are occupied”
You don’t have to be distracted to be happy. And that kind of happiness isn’t sustainable unless their minds are occupied all the time with repeatable and/or endless distractions. I want to say more, but I’m afraid topics in religious studies aren’t relevant on this forum.
“I doubt that. (a) Are you speaking of poverty in absolute or relative terms? (b) While I don’t like modeling needs like Maslow and others, I find your list of needs not sufficient—and a computer is not necessary.”
In relative terms. It seems that people in America who live in poverty are still rich enough to own TVs, refrigerators, and computers.
“Most social activities are for socialisation, not for learning, dude. Besides, there’re a lot of things to learn, man, only if you are a little perceptive. By observing their stupidity, you may learn something. I find it amusing sometimes to take note of every day fallacies and write them in fiction. :P ”
Ah yes, good point. I sometimes do that. The only problem is that it doesn’t come all the time so I’m still incredibly bored most of the time. :( Of course, adaptation is important, like you say, but I’m going to have to make myself happier first (and finish college as well) before I take the new challenge of adaptation.
“And even if you don’t like an event, maybe because your calculation that you could have higher utility by spending time elsewhere, you can leave, making up some excuses if you have to.”
Ah that;s a good point.
“”recent article said that people are happier when their minds are occupied” You don’t have to be distracted to be happy. And that kind of happiness isn’t sustainable unless their minds are occupied all the time with repeatable and/or endless distractions. I want to say more, but I’m afraid topics in religious studies aren’t relevant on this forum.”
Also good points, especially about the sustainability.
Why is it so? Because the majority of social activities seem catered towards people who don’t like to learn (or don’t like to feel like they have to learn).
What are you expecting to learn at a social event?
Socialising consists of learning about other people, and their interests, and gaining an impression of their intellect, which later allows you to gauge the accuracy of factual statements they attempt to impart upon you. You must also, at the same time, cause them to find you interesting, and give them a good impression of your relevant intellectual capabilities, in order that they will actually respond to your requests in future.
Once you have become acquainted with people, then you can gain information through them; as well as, on occasion, gaining aid in various non-information based tasks (ie. moving house). In exchange, you will be expected to help them on occasion, and will perform and recieve verbal grooming/acknowledgement.
So you see, while socialising may look repetitive, it’s actually a very complicated task which the neurotypical human brain is specialised toward solving.
First of all—I’m not a psychiatrist. This comment is just my personal view.
“Capacity to enjoy things” and depression are quite different. If you enjoy X, and you are attached to/addicted to/obsessed with X, then when you lose X, you are likely to feel depressed.
Maybe you should not get exposed to X (e.g. drugs) or not get addicted to X (e.g. gambling).
Maybe you should start with changing your attitude and/or preferences. Believing that you’ve lost capacity to enjoy things probably lead you to make confirmation bias. Also, the past is sunk cost, man. You can learn from it, but you can’t recover it. Sometimes people hang happiness with expectations they set, so when they don’t meet their goals, they are sad. This is not gonna help them with their future plans. The trick here is you should learn to lose. Losing is ok—be it relationship, competition, wealth, reputation, etc—as long as you have a will to go on. There’s nothing to irritate about, man. With bounded rationality, we make mistakes sometimes, and this is a natural part of life.
Some saints and volunteer workers live in horrible conditions but they find happiness in helping other people. On the other hand, some investors commit suicide after a stock market crashes and they learn their portfolios are worthless. It’s amazing, yet sad, to think about how people set preferences, attitudes and relate results to happiness. sighs
Good points. I like it how you approach this with a rationality-based perspective, especially with the point about the sunk costs. I’ve tried to appreciate that I don’t really need anything in life, as long as I have the ability to live comfortably. And fact is, it is possible to live comfortably, even if I am in poverty (as long as I have food, safety, and a computer with an Internet connection).
“Believing that you’ve lost capacity to enjoy things probably lead you to make confirmation bias. ”
That is true. The only problem is that this bias has actually proved helpful with many things. I’ve coded up the term “stimuli redundancy” to explain it. Most social activities become very repetitive after a while (I use the term “stimuli redundancy” to describe them). Why is it so? Because the majority of social activities seem catered towards people who don’t like to learn (or don’t like to feel like they have to learn). And thus I get bored of them quickly. I’ve tried to assume otherwise—to assume that I may enjoy things that I end up not enjoying. But that has led to disappointment (and my consistently staring at my watch, waiting for the time when the activity could just end).
Of course, a recent article said that people are happier when their minds are occupied (rather than left to wander).
“it is possible to live comfortably, even if I am in poverty (as long as I have food, safety, and a computer with an Internet connection).”
I doubt that. (a) Are you speaking of poverty in absolute or relative terms? (b) While I don’t like modeling needs like Maslow and others, I find your list of needs not sufficient—and a computer is not necessary.
“I’ve tried to assume otherwise—to assume that I may enjoy things that I end up not enjoying” Self deception is a paradox, and a paradox doesn’t work in normal conditions. So don’t assume anything.
“Because the majority of social activities seem catered towards people who don’t like to learn” Do you think social activities are for learning what you think they should learn? Most social activities are for socialisation, not for learning, dude. Besides, there’re a lot of things to learn, man, only if you are a little perceptive. By observing their stupidity, you may learn something. I find it amusing sometimes to take note of every day fallacies and write them in fiction. :P Besides, I am kinda person who blends in with them well. Sometimes I pretend to be a little stupid to be able to conform to the group. It can be a good chance for you to learn to adapt. Adaptation is a necessary skill unless you want to live in solitude (which is very difficult, if not impossible).
And even if you don’t like an event, maybe because your calculation that you could have higher utility by spending time elsewhere, you can leave, making up some excuses if you have to.
“recent article said that people are happier when their minds are occupied” You don’t have to be distracted to be happy. And that kind of happiness isn’t sustainable unless their minds are occupied all the time with repeatable and/or endless distractions. I want to say more, but I’m afraid topics in religious studies aren’t relevant on this forum.
“I doubt that. (a) Are you speaking of poverty in absolute or relative terms? (b) While I don’t like modeling needs like Maslow and others, I find your list of needs not sufficient—and a computer is not necessary.”
In relative terms. It seems that people in America who live in poverty are still rich enough to own TVs, refrigerators, and computers.
“Most social activities are for socialisation, not for learning, dude. Besides, there’re a lot of things to learn, man, only if you are a little perceptive. By observing their stupidity, you may learn something. I find it amusing sometimes to take note of every day fallacies and write them in fiction. :P ”
Ah yes, good point. I sometimes do that. The only problem is that it doesn’t come all the time so I’m still incredibly bored most of the time. :( Of course, adaptation is important, like you say, but I’m going to have to make myself happier first (and finish college as well) before I take the new challenge of adaptation.
“And even if you don’t like an event, maybe because your calculation that you could have higher utility by spending time elsewhere, you can leave, making up some excuses if you have to.”
Ah that;s a good point.
“”recent article said that people are happier when their minds are occupied” You don’t have to be distracted to be happy. And that kind of happiness isn’t sustainable unless their minds are occupied all the time with repeatable and/or endless distractions. I want to say more, but I’m afraid topics in religious studies aren’t relevant on this forum.”
Also good points, especially about the sustainability.
What are you expecting to learn at a social event?
Socialising consists of learning about other people, and their interests, and gaining an impression of their intellect, which later allows you to gauge the accuracy of factual statements they attempt to impart upon you. You must also, at the same time, cause them to find you interesting, and give them a good impression of your relevant intellectual capabilities, in order that they will actually respond to your requests in future.
Once you have become acquainted with people, then you can gain information through them; as well as, on occasion, gaining aid in various non-information based tasks (ie. moving house). In exchange, you will be expected to help them on occasion, and will perform and recieve verbal grooming/acknowledgement.
So you see, while socialising may look repetitive, it’s actually a very complicated task which the neurotypical human brain is specialised toward solving.