You can write down your own goals to make them clearer to you. If you are clear about what you want to do it’s harder for someone else to give you other goals then when you are empty.
There are various kind of things you can do to learn emotional control. I remember times in the past where strong emotions could cloud my mind but after doing a lot of meditation that’s not true for me anymore.
In the absence of ugh-fields or a lot of unknowns strong emotions make me think clearly and I can still follow rules based heuristics.
The most charged emotional situation I can think of that likely would have freaked a lot of people out was when it was past midnight and I was walking alone and a guy grabbed me and told me: “Give me 5 Euros or I’ll kill you”
To get to something more speculative, I have the idea that love is a lot of conditioning. If everytime you think about X, you feel good, the next time you think about X you will feel even more good. A bit unpredictability thrown in generally increases the effect.
If you repeat that a thousand times you get a pretty strong stimulus. Almost wireheading ;)
Of course there are additional effects that comes with physical intimacy. Speaking about them would be even more speculative.
I don’t think doing interventions in highly charged emotional issue like this in a practically-oriented way is well done via text.
Text is much better for discussing the topic on a more abstract level. Having abstract concepts to orient yourself in a situation can help.
I gave one practical suggestion, meditation. To be more practical: Find a local meditation group with an experienced teacher and attend it regularly.
One of the exercises that CFAR does is comfort zone extension. That can also help. If you often do that kind of exercises you train yourself to be still operational under strong emotions.
You can write down your own goals to make them clearer to you. If you are clear about what you want to do it’s harder for someone else to give you other goals then when you are empty.
There are various kind of things you can do to learn emotional control. I remember times in the past where strong emotions could cloud my mind but after doing a lot of meditation that’s not true for me anymore. In the absence of ugh-fields or a lot of unknowns strong emotions make me think clearly and I can still follow rules based heuristics.
The most charged emotional situation I can think of that likely would have freaked a lot of people out was when it was past midnight and I was walking alone and a guy grabbed me and told me: “Give me 5 Euros or I’ll kill you”
To get to something more speculative, I have the idea that love is a lot of conditioning. If everytime you think about X, you feel good, the next time you think about X you will feel even more good. A bit unpredictability thrown in generally increases the effect.
If you repeat that a thousand times you get a pretty strong stimulus. Almost wireheading ;)
Of course there are additional effects that comes with physical intimacy. Speaking about them would be even more speculative.
I have trouble parsing this… could you rephrase it in a more practically-oriented way?
I don’t think doing interventions in highly charged emotional issue like this in a practically-oriented way is well done via text.
Text is much better for discussing the topic on a more abstract level. Having abstract concepts to orient yourself in a situation can help.
I gave one practical suggestion, meditation. To be more practical: Find a local meditation group with an experienced teacher and attend it regularly.
One of the exercises that CFAR does is comfort zone extension. That can also help. If you often do that kind of exercises you train yourself to be still operational under strong emotions.