As someone diagnosed with ADHD only recently, as an adult, I can relate to having mental energy that is highly variable, and to having intellectual pursuits which are largely dependent on this energy. It would seem the vast majority of active participants on this website have no kids, so I thought it would be worthwhile to add my perspective, having 3 of my own, in my early 30s. Prior to having kids, I would often stay up until ~2am, deep in some sort of research, and occasionally stay up all night, tracking down and reading articles pertinent to my topic. Often, I would have a “crash” day, sleeping ~14 hours one day of the weekend.
After having kids, inertia kept my habits up for a while, but the all-nighters went away, and the 2am bedtime shifted closer to 11pm. (Total hours spent sleeping, of course, were lower, in spite of this, due to nighttime feedings.) With making up for sleep on the weekend becoming (understandably) less tolerable for my spouse, and having children who wake up ~6am or earlier and require an adult to be awake with them, regularity of time was imposed. But my mental energy still followed its own pattern. Melatonin has been helpful in forcing a “shut down sequence” on my mind before bed.
After being diagnosed and beginning medication, I have (aside from temporary side-effects from medications that were not ideally suited for me) found myself much more able to both apply a consistent level of energy to both professional and personal projects, as well as to keep a consistent bedtime, typically without the need for melatonin to “force” it. It also helps that our youngest is finally sleeping through the night consistently. Recently, I have even been considering waking up ~5am, to get some of the time back, after a night of good sleep. I plan to experiment with this, and see how it goes.
Behind these changes, it is difficult to disentangle from each other the effects of the child-imposed schedule, the medication, and simply the advance of time/age. How much people should try to change themselves to fit their circumstances, and how much people should try to change their circumstances to fit themselves, remains an open question for me. But those who choose to submit themselves to the needs of others in the ways that family life requires can still find time & energy for their pursuits… At least once the baby is sleeping through the night.
As someone diagnosed with ADHD only recently, as an adult, I can relate to having mental energy that is highly variable, and to having intellectual pursuits which are largely dependent on this energy. It would seem the vast majority of active participants on this website have no kids, so I thought it would be worthwhile to add my perspective, having 3 of my own, in my early 30s. Prior to having kids, I would often stay up until ~2am, deep in some sort of research, and occasionally stay up all night, tracking down and reading articles pertinent to my topic. Often, I would have a “crash” day, sleeping ~14 hours one day of the weekend.
After having kids, inertia kept my habits up for a while, but the all-nighters went away, and the 2am bedtime shifted closer to 11pm. (Total hours spent sleeping, of course, were lower, in spite of this, due to nighttime feedings.) With making up for sleep on the weekend becoming (understandably) less tolerable for my spouse, and having children who wake up ~6am or earlier and require an adult to be awake with them, regularity of time was imposed. But my mental energy still followed its own pattern. Melatonin has been helpful in forcing a “shut down sequence” on my mind before bed.
After being diagnosed and beginning medication, I have (aside from temporary side-effects from medications that were not ideally suited for me) found myself much more able to both apply a consistent level of energy to both professional and personal projects, as well as to keep a consistent bedtime, typically without the need for melatonin to “force” it. It also helps that our youngest is finally sleeping through the night consistently. Recently, I have even been considering waking up ~5am, to get some of the time back, after a night of good sleep. I plan to experiment with this, and see how it goes.
Behind these changes, it is difficult to disentangle from each other the effects of the child-imposed schedule, the medication, and simply the advance of time/age. How much people should try to change themselves to fit their circumstances, and how much people should try to change their circumstances to fit themselves, remains an open question for me. But those who choose to submit themselves to the needs of others in the ways that family life requires can still find time & energy for their pursuits… At least once the baby is sleeping through the night.