[dark screen]
[a girl voice crying, muttering something inaudible, only some sentence pop out of the confused buzz]
“I’m sorry...”
“It’s all my fault...”
“Please forgive me...”
You wake up, slowly focusing the room you’re in. Pale azure walls, something beeping softly behing your field of visione. You are a little surprised to find yourself in this room. It doesn’t feel right, but you can’t seem to remember why. Your body is numb, your throat is so dried and you’re hungry, very hungry.
Something is clearly wrong.
You remember something… There was a girl crying? You try to move your head, but your body responds extremely slowly. You turn your head to the right and see a girl, curly brown hair, standing to a chair next to your bed. She seems asleep. You concentrate to move your hand, and as soon as you do, she suddenly open her eyes, looking straight at you, eyes wide with disbelief. After a moment, she jolts up and without saying a word hurries away from you, out of your vision.
Did you know her? She seemed so afraid…
You are a little more comfortable in your body now, and attempt to look around: you seem to be in a hospital room, or at least in a bedroom modified as such. There are tubes and wirings connected to your left arm, and to your chest. A nice view of a garden outside a wide window to your left. A door-frame without a door, where probably the girl fled. A nice wooden cabinet, seems antique. Another girl enters, dressed like a nurse.
She smilingly offers you a pen, and a pad. She points to a small label on her dress: “Ellen”.
“Hello Mr Rogers. I’m Ellen, your nurse. How do you feel?”
Your voice tired, creaked, finally comes out:
“Thirsty...”
“It’s a good sign, believe me. I’m going to fetch you a glass, but first I need you to write my name on the pad. You have been suffering from amnesia, and hallucinations.”
This could be the setting and the tutorial: using the pad as a toned down version of the tool used later in games, and while slowly recovering the game teaches the user how to use all the controls. Added benefit: if you have to fight with amnesia and hallucinations, but you’re also knee deep in a conspiracy of some kind, you better start asking yourself: “What do I know, and why?”
Oh snap! Yes, all my fiction turns out pretty dark, but if the target audience are teenager, yeah, that doesn’t work at all. Maybe in the future, when a library and a developer group will be estabilished, we could have a more adult “The fundamental question”. Great title, anyway ;)
A suggestion for the beginning/tutorial:
[dark screen] [a girl voice crying, muttering something inaudible, only some sentence pop out of the confused buzz] “I’m sorry...” “It’s all my fault...” “Please forgive me...”
You wake up, slowly focusing the room you’re in. Pale azure walls, something beeping softly behing your field of visione. You are a little surprised to find yourself in this room. It doesn’t feel right, but you can’t seem to remember why. Your body is numb, your throat is so dried and you’re hungry, very hungry. Something is clearly wrong. You remember something… There was a girl crying? You try to move your head, but your body responds extremely slowly. You turn your head to the right and see a girl, curly brown hair, standing to a chair next to your bed. She seems asleep. You concentrate to move your hand, and as soon as you do, she suddenly open her eyes, looking straight at you, eyes wide with disbelief. After a moment, she jolts up and without saying a word hurries away from you, out of your vision. Did you know her? She seemed so afraid… You are a little more comfortable in your body now, and attempt to look around: you seem to be in a hospital room, or at least in a bedroom modified as such. There are tubes and wirings connected to your left arm, and to your chest. A nice view of a garden outside a wide window to your left. A door-frame without a door, where probably the girl fled. A nice wooden cabinet, seems antique. Another girl enters, dressed like a nurse. She smilingly offers you a pen, and a pad. She points to a small label on her dress: “Ellen”. “Hello Mr Rogers. I’m Ellen, your nurse. How do you feel?” Your voice tired, creaked, finally comes out: “Thirsty...” “It’s a good sign, believe me. I’m going to fetch you a glass, but first I need you to write my name on the pad. You have been suffering from amnesia, and hallucinations.”
This could be the setting and the tutorial: using the pad as a toned down version of the tool used later in games, and while slowly recovering the game teaches the user how to use all the controls. Added benefit: if you have to fight with amnesia and hallucinations, but you’re also knee deep in a conspiracy of some kind, you better start asking yourself: “What do I know, and why?”
I like that for the intensity, but it’s a pretty dark opening, which would probably turn a lot of people off.
Oh snap! Yes, all my fiction turns out pretty dark, but if the target audience are teenager, yeah, that doesn’t work at all. Maybe in the future, when a library and a developer group will be estabilished, we could have a more adult “The fundamental question”. Great title, anyway ;)