I’ll add one: don’t ask if you won’t accept a no If you’re requiring your child to do a task, and it’s not actually acceptable to you for them not to do the task—then don’t phrase it as a question eg “would you like to clean your room now?” If they say no and then you make them do it anyway—you’re teaching them that their preferences aren’t respected. I think we do the question thing to try to make the request feel more “polite”, but it actually backfires in the long-term. If no isn’t really an option, phrase it differently “It’s time to clean up your room now” Or you can find a question that is acceptable “It’s time to clean up your room. Do you want to do it now, or after you finish your <activity>?”
I’ll add one: don’t ask if you won’t accept a no
If you’re requiring your child to do a task, and it’s not actually acceptable to you for them not to do the task—then don’t phrase it as a question eg “would you like to clean your room now?”
If they say no and then you make them do it anyway—you’re teaching them that their preferences aren’t respected.
I think we do the question thing to try to make the request feel more “polite”, but it actually backfires in the long-term.
If no isn’t really an option, phrase it differently “It’s time to clean up your room now”
Or you can find a question that is acceptable “It’s time to clean up your room. Do you want to do it now, or after you finish your <activity>?”