(I take it “follow me” means “stay married to me despite the overt religious difference” rather than “deconvert along with me”.)
Keeping secrets from your wife seems like a really bad idea. Are there ways for you to test the waters a little? (Admit to having serious doubts about your religion, maybe?) Perhaps there’s something you can do along those lines that will both (1) give you some indication of what you can tell her without hurting her / making her file for leave you / … and (2) prepare her mind so that when you tell her more it isn’t such a shock.
My situation somewhat parallels yours—formerly quite seriously religious, now very definitely (and openly) atheist, married to someone who is still seriously and actively religious. But my guess, from how you describe the situation, is that your family and friends are likely to be more bothered by irreligion than mine. (In particular, both I and my wife have plenty of friends and family who are not religious.) So I can tell you that it’s all worked out OK for me so far, but I wouldn’t advise you to take that as very strong evidence that openness about your (ir)religious opinions would work out well for you.
Even so, my guess is that it wouldn’t be as terrible as you think it would. But, again, I don’t think there’s any reason for you to trust my guesses.
(I take it “follow me” means “stay married to me despite the overt religious difference” rather than “deconvert along with me”.)
Keeping secrets from your wife seems like a really bad idea. Are there ways for you to test the waters a little? (Admit to having serious doubts about your religion, maybe?) Perhaps there’s something you can do along those lines that will both (1) give you some indication of what you can tell her without hurting her / making her file for leave you / … and (2) prepare her mind so that when you tell her more it isn’t such a shock.
My situation somewhat parallels yours—formerly quite seriously religious, now very definitely (and openly) atheist, married to someone who is still seriously and actively religious. But my guess, from how you describe the situation, is that your family and friends are likely to be more bothered by irreligion than mine. (In particular, both I and my wife have plenty of friends and family who are not religious.) So I can tell you that it’s all worked out OK for me so far, but I wouldn’t advise you to take that as very strong evidence that openness about your (ir)religious opinions would work out well for you.
Even so, my guess is that it wouldn’t be as terrible as you think it would. But, again, I don’t think there’s any reason for you to trust my guesses.