Serious introspection is very important. One problem is that what comes to mind for behaviors correlated with attractiveness are those correlated with maximum attractiveness, and behaviors associated with maximum attractiveness are correlated with that because they are otherwise generally unattractive behaviors that are being conspicuously overcome by the maximally attractive.
Imagine a wolf pack in which the males fought for positions in the hierarchy. The lowest ranked make might signal his harmlessness to the other low-ranked males by failing to plant his feet when among the pack, thereby making himself disadvantaged in any fight, and we might find him frequently standing on three legs. The top male might conspicuously display his unconcern with challengers by failing to plant his fourth paw and spend a lot of time on three paws. Female wolves might reasonably advise a young wolf to model himself after the top wolf...but this would be naive. A young wolf modeling the three-paw stance would never be mistaken for the alpha wolf. So too a human should be wary of advice to “just be himself and not hide his emotions. like John Mayer”. That would be bad advice. (Wolf behavior made up on the spot by me [I think] as an analogy.)
I recommend browsing through this site and isolating those posts which will least make him feel bad, and sharing those.
Serious introspection is very important. One problem is that what comes to mind for behaviors correlated with attractiveness are those correlated with maximum attractiveness, and behaviors associated with maximum attractiveness are correlated with that because they are otherwise generally unattractive behaviors that are being conspicuously overcome by the maximally attractive.
Imagine a wolf pack in which the males fought for positions in the hierarchy. The lowest ranked make might signal his harmlessness to the other low-ranked males by failing to plant his feet when among the pack, thereby making himself disadvantaged in any fight, and we might find him frequently standing on three legs. The top male might conspicuously display his unconcern with challengers by failing to plant his fourth paw and spend a lot of time on three paws. Female wolves might reasonably advise a young wolf to model himself after the top wolf...but this would be naive. A young wolf modeling the three-paw stance would never be mistaken for the alpha wolf. So too a human should be wary of advice to “just be himself and not hide his emotions. like John Mayer”. That would be bad advice. (Wolf behavior made up on the spot by me [I think] as an analogy.)
I recommend browsing through this site and isolating those posts which will least make him feel bad, and sharing those.