I suspect the crux here is that it seems immature to me to spend lots of energy to keep retaliating after a bad break-up. Rather than “let us agree to keep it a secret what happened” I’d say “let us agree to not act in a malicious or petty way after we’ve broken up”.
Relatedly if it gets to the point where you “hate” your partner you should have already left earlier and it is your responsibility to have not let it get that far. (Or alternatively they did something surprising and very bad and this is precisely the sort of info that other people would benefit from knowing, and it’s wrong to keep it a secret.)
I suspect the crux here is that it seems immature to me to spend lots of energy to keep retaliating after a bad break-up. Rather than “let us agree to keep it a secret what happened” I’d say “let us agree to not act in a malicious or petty way after we’ve broken up”.
Relatedly if it gets to the point where you “hate” your partner you should have already left earlier and it is your responsibility to have not let it get that far. (Or alternatively they did something surprising and very bad and this is precisely the sort of info that other people would benefit from knowing, and it’s wrong to keep it a secret.)