Thanks for this—I mostly agree, but it’s important to note that a lot of this is confusion about the metaphor(s) of identity such that “keep it small” actually means anything. Let alone that it means to me what Paul Graham intended. Let alone whether what works for him works for me or you.
I tend to think of “keep my identity small” as “keep my attachments to identity dimensions weak”. I am not my (current) identity—neither the salient points of a self-image at any point in time, nor the things that any friends or acquaintances use to summarize and predict me. I am a collection of related identities across contexts and time. I’m not sure if I’m more than that, but I’m at least that, not any given point-identity.
I’ve very happy to take your reminder that the best path (for most of us) to this is acceptance rather than denial or force. Accept that your self-perception is incomplete, and that your experiences will be deeply impacted by self-image and the many many variations of others’ image of you. You CAN adjust these images and perceptions, but you probably CANNOT just declare them to be different.
Thanks for this—I mostly agree, but it’s important to note that a lot of this is confusion about the metaphor(s) of identity such that “keep it small” actually means anything. Let alone that it means to me what Paul Graham intended. Let alone whether what works for him works for me or you.
I tend to think of “keep my identity small” as “keep my attachments to identity dimensions weak”. I am not my (current) identity—neither the salient points of a self-image at any point in time, nor the things that any friends or acquaintances use to summarize and predict me. I am a collection of related identities across contexts and time. I’m not sure if I’m more than that, but I’m at least that, not any given point-identity.
I’ve very happy to take your reminder that the best path (for most of us) to this is acceptance rather than denial or force. Accept that your self-perception is incomplete, and that your experiences will be deeply impacted by self-image and the many many variations of others’ image of you. You CAN adjust these images and perceptions, but you probably CANNOT just declare them to be different.
Very much agree.