Strong downvoted. This seems naively useful but knowing someone had a CRM for our friendship would make me feel quite uncomfortable, objectified, and annoyed, and I would likely stop being friends with that person, and I’m confident that the majority of (most?) people who aren’t pretty rationalist would feel similarly.
I actually told the most hippie human on my list (spending months on rainbow gatherings-level hippie) that she’s on it. To my surprise, she felt unambiguously flattered. Seems like the people who know me trust that I can be intentional without being objectifying. :)
I expect business and sales people would mostly not feel similarly, though to be fair it’s uncommon for business friendships/acquaintances to reach “best friend” or better status. The vibe of somebody putting you in a CRM to stay in touch without any direct/immediate monetary benefit is like, “oh, how thoughtful of you / props for being organized / I should really be doing that”.
Anyway, the important question isn’t how most people would feel, it’s how one’s desired friends in particular would feel. And many people might feel things like “honored this busy person with lots of friends wants to upgrade our friendship and is taking action to make sure it happens—how awesome”.
There’s an app called garden where you enter the name of the people you care about and how often you want to talk to them: once a week, a month etc.
I started using it and being open to people about it. A few mentioned it sounded a bit weird but otherwise I’ve gotten overwhelmingly positive feedback and I’m staying in touch regularly with the people I care about!
The “what I get/what they get from me” columns from this Dunbar exercise are a bit too much for me though.
Same, I’ve been using https://clay.earth for this with good results. Biggest things I’ve noticed:
Taking quick notes after interactions with “I can get” and “I can provide” helps when trying to remember things before your next conversation
Clay will automatically update location and remind you about people without you needing to set reminders manually, which removes a lot of grunt work
People see through periodic “it’s been a while!” texts sent on the first of each month. Thoughtful gifts and things like holiday cards with a handwritten note go a long way toward making things feel intentional.
Strong downvoted. This seems naively useful but knowing someone had a CRM for our friendship would make me feel quite uncomfortable, objectified, and annoyed, and I would likely stop being friends with that person, and I’m confident that the majority of (most?) people who aren’t pretty rationalist would feel similarly.
Seems pretty likely those people are bad fits for Severin whether or not they actually make the spreadsheet.
I actually told the most hippie human on my list (spending months on rainbow gatherings-level hippie) that she’s on it. To my surprise, she felt unambiguously flattered. Seems like the people who know me trust that I can be intentional without being objectifying. :)
I expect business and sales people would mostly not feel similarly, though to be fair it’s uncommon for business friendships/acquaintances to reach “best friend” or better status. The vibe of somebody putting you in a CRM to stay in touch without any direct/immediate monetary benefit is like, “oh, how thoughtful of you / props for being organized / I should really be doing that”.
Anyway, the important question isn’t how most people would feel, it’s how one’s desired friends in particular would feel. And many people might feel things like “honored this busy person with lots of friends wants to upgrade our friendship and is taking action to make sure it happens—how awesome”.
There’s an app called garden where you enter the name of the people you care about and how often you want to talk to them: once a week, a month etc.
I started using it and being open to people about it. A few mentioned it sounded a bit weird but otherwise I’ve gotten overwhelmingly positive feedback and I’m staying in touch regularly with the people I care about!
The “what I get/what they get from me” columns from this Dunbar exercise are a bit too much for me though.
Same, I’ve been using https://clay.earth for this with good results. Biggest things I’ve noticed:
Taking quick notes after interactions with “I can get” and “I can provide” helps when trying to remember things before your next conversation
Clay will automatically update location and remind you about people without you needing to set reminders manually, which removes a lot of grunt work
People see through periodic “it’s been a while!” texts sent on the first of each month. Thoughtful gifts and things like holiday cards with a handwritten note go a long way toward making things feel intentional.
https://clay.earth looks interesting! Are you still using it now (7 months later)? Would you still recommend it?
Link?
Edit: this seems to be it: https://apps.apple.com/us/app/garden-stay-in-touch/id1230466454
https://apps.apple.com/fr/app/garden-stay-in-touch/id1230466454?l=en-GB