Had a realization while on a campout; A major motivator behind my actions is a feeling that I’m constantly behind in my understanding of things. Without an understanding of the situation, I have no control. I feel like I can’t even formulate a calm and steady reaction when I don’t know what I’m dealing with.
This became clear when I got all out of sorts because no one would follow my clever ideas for campout activities. I foresaw a lack of a predictable structure bothering me, I set out to enforce a structure, and still wound up in the middle of confusing random noise. And then with neither laptop nor quiet, comfortable place to think I had no way to process any of that confusion.
Took on a challenge to do some items from a self-chosen theme every day for a week, and if you fail to do a day then you have to complete that plus the next day’s task in order to check it tomorrow. I chose Summer Solstice Party planning as my theme. I did the first day and then things started to backlog.
I’m trying 20 minute zazen every morning. It is maddeningly boring. As a side note, there is something about buddhist philosophy (at least, as rendered by an anarchist author I’m reading) that appears so close to aspiring rationality that I feel horribly betrayed when I look closer and notice the serious clashes. It’s like the uncanny valley effect, or reading Professor Quirrel’s dark reasoning.
I’ve changed from going through 1 Lojban lesson a week to ensuring that I actually PRACTICE what I’ve learned so far.
I have a to-do to murphy-proof my GTD/habit process. Things are backing up, so I want to think of ways to avoid that in the future. Hopefully I’ll actually get to that brainstorm at some point.
I did some offline training for my morning routine today.
Oh dear, I did not turn this realization into concrete actions! It worked out to me feeling stressed about how stressed everything was making me and retreating into the highly predictable world of fanfiction for a week.
I expect next campout I’ll put less emphasis on trying to get other people to follow my plans and just figure out things I can do for myself. Set a flexible schedule, pack my own snacks so I’m not beholden to the schedules of others to eat, search for a fortress of solitude right off the bat… I’ll be sure to actually write down when people mention what the overall plan is instead of letting myself forget each tidbit as it passes by. Collecting such information is what I have a little red carrying notebook for.
Had a realization while on a campout; A major motivator behind my actions is a feeling that I’m constantly behind in my understanding of things. Without an understanding of the situation, I have no control. I feel like I can’t even formulate a calm and steady reaction when I don’t know what I’m dealing with.
This became clear when I got all out of sorts because no one would follow my clever ideas for campout activities. I foresaw a lack of a predictable structure bothering me, I set out to enforce a structure, and still wound up in the middle of confusing random noise. And then with neither laptop nor quiet, comfortable place to think I had no way to process any of that confusion.
This week:
Still haven’t done that habit murphy-proof.
Took on a challenge to do some items from a self-chosen theme every day for a week, and if you fail to do a day then you have to complete that plus the next day’s task in order to check it tomorrow. I chose Summer Solstice Party planning as my theme. I did the first day and then things started to backlog.
I’m trying 20 minute zazen every morning. It is maddeningly boring. As a side note, there is something about buddhist philosophy (at least, as rendered by an anarchist author I’m reading) that appears so close to aspiring rationality that I feel horribly betrayed when I look closer and notice the serious clashes. It’s like the uncanny valley effect, or reading Professor Quirrel’s dark reasoning.
This week:
I’ve changed from going through 1 Lojban lesson a week to ensuring that I actually PRACTICE what I’ve learned so far.
I have a to-do to murphy-proof my GTD/habit process. Things are backing up, so I want to think of ways to avoid that in the future. Hopefully I’ll actually get to that brainstorm at some point.
I did some offline training for my morning routine today.
How did that work out after your realization?
Oh dear, I did not turn this realization into concrete actions! It worked out to me feeling stressed about how stressed everything was making me and retreating into the highly predictable world of fanfiction for a week.
I expect next campout I’ll put less emphasis on trying to get other people to follow my plans and just figure out things I can do for myself. Set a flexible schedule, pack my own snacks so I’m not beholden to the schedules of others to eat, search for a fortress of solitude right off the bat… I’ll be sure to actually write down when people mention what the overall plan is instead of letting myself forget each tidbit as it passes by. Collecting such information is what I have a little red carrying notebook for.