Well, my first thought reading this was “look at that, worrying about what people think of you and trying to look cool messes everything up again.”
This ‘obviously’ insertion trick may be rewarded with social pretentiousness brownie points, but as we can see, it also has negative consequences that, I feel, are rather more important. As a remedy, I invite you (and everyone) to join me in working on not caring so much about sounding cool enough.
This is an ongoing project of mine and I’m not nearly at a point yet where social insecurity and pretentiousness don’t make any of my decisions for me any more, but at least realising that these are petty and counterproductive things to worry about helps to loosen their grip on your brain a bit. I’m working on a brand of modesty based on the hypothesis that if you’re really good at something, people will often notice it even if you don’t signal it, and a need to signal it is just costly nonsense that biases you and gets in the way of your peace of mind, and might even get you stuck in delusions of entitlement to admiration that you haven’t earned. And I appease my remaining urge for pretentiousness with the thought that being noticeably great at something without showing it off makes you look all the more badass. Someone with an amazing skill you never would have known they had (and if they’ve had that hidden in them, who knows what else they can do!) seems a lot cooler to me than someone—even a more skilled person—who milks their merits for every last thumbs-up they can get out of them.
Note however that I am not involved with important political matters where my reputation as a Very Smart Person could actually benefit me in more substantial ways than ego boostery.
I’m working on a brand of modesty based on the hypothesis that if you’re really good at something, people will often notice it even if you don’t signal it, and a need to signal it is just costly nonsense that biases you and gets in the way of your peace of mind
People are also good at ignoring things that are inconvenient for them. Consider an office politics situation where being good at your job may mean that someone else’s status gets lowered. You may have to signal that you’re good at your job in order to get noticed at all.
There’s also the problem that even if it’s obvious, obvious+signal is still going to beat out your obvious+no signal. By your reasoning you don’t need to walk into a job interview wearing a suit, because your resume should speak for itself. But then the next guy with an equally good resume and a suit comes in and gets hired over you.
More generally: If you’ve “rationally” deduced that you don’t really need to follow pointless social conventions, you’re almost certainly wrong and have failed to consider something. Chesterton’s Fence applies, at least.
Indeed. Like I mentioned briefly in my footnote, I understand that this is not an approach that you can apply that generally, in any situation. Particularly if you actually somehow depend on other people’s impressedness for something that matters to you, actively putting effort into impressing them (if done right) will probably get you more reliable results. If you really need people to think you’re amazing, I guess my approach would be a pretty big gamble. The whole point of being subtle is to accept the risk that people won’t notice, which works well for art but not for traffic signs.
That’s not really my purpose with this, though. The purpose of this idea is mainly to liberate yourself from the urge to impress people at all. Again, you can’t always afford to do that—we all know a job interview is not the moment for modesty—so the scope would have to be limited to those situations where looking clever really isn’t all that important, but I think that still covers a sizeable proportion of them. Including, very much, writing comments on LessWrong that may or may not contain the word ‘obviously’.
Well, my first thought reading this was “look at that, worrying about what people think of you and trying to look cool messes everything up again.”
This ‘obviously’ insertion trick may be rewarded with social pretentiousness brownie points, but as we can see, it also has negative consequences that, I feel, are rather more important. As a remedy, I invite you (and everyone) to join me in working on not caring so much about sounding cool enough.
This is an ongoing project of mine and I’m not nearly at a point yet where social insecurity and pretentiousness don’t make any of my decisions for me any more, but at least realising that these are petty and counterproductive things to worry about helps to loosen their grip on your brain a bit.
I’m working on a brand of modesty based on the hypothesis that if you’re really good at something, people will often notice it even if you don’t signal it, and a need to signal it is just costly nonsense that biases you and gets in the way of your peace of mind, and might even get you stuck in delusions of entitlement to admiration that you haven’t earned. And I appease my remaining urge for pretentiousness with the thought that being noticeably great at something without showing it off makes you look all the more badass. Someone with an amazing skill you never would have known they had (and if they’ve had that hidden in them, who knows what else they can do!) seems a lot cooler to me than someone—even a more skilled person—who milks their merits for every last thumbs-up they can get out of them.
Note however that I am not involved with important political matters where my reputation as a Very Smart Person could actually benefit me in more substantial ways than ego boostery.
People are also good at ignoring things that are inconvenient for them. Consider an office politics situation where being good at your job may mean that someone else’s status gets lowered. You may have to signal that you’re good at your job in order to get noticed at all.
There’s also the problem that even if it’s obvious, obvious+signal is still going to beat out your obvious+no signal. By your reasoning you don’t need to walk into a job interview wearing a suit, because your resume should speak for itself. But then the next guy with an equally good resume and a suit comes in and gets hired over you.
More generally: If you’ve “rationally” deduced that you don’t really need to follow pointless social conventions, you’re almost certainly wrong and have failed to consider something. Chesterton’s Fence applies, at least.
Indeed. Like I mentioned briefly in my footnote, I understand that this is not an approach that you can apply that generally, in any situation. Particularly if you actually somehow depend on other people’s impressedness for something that matters to you, actively putting effort into impressing them (if done right) will probably get you more reliable results. If you really need people to think you’re amazing, I guess my approach would be a pretty big gamble. The whole point of being subtle is to accept the risk that people won’t notice, which works well for art but not for traffic signs.
That’s not really my purpose with this, though. The purpose of this idea is mainly to liberate yourself from the urge to impress people at all. Again, you can’t always afford to do that—we all know a job interview is not the moment for modesty—so the scope would have to be limited to those situations where looking clever really isn’t all that important, but I think that still covers a sizeable proportion of them. Including, very much, writing comments on LessWrong that may or may not contain the word ‘obviously’.