Changing someone’s world view that’s backed up by experiences isn’t easy, so it’s likely not the best target.
Even if you could destroying the fantasy world in which an emotionally fragile person withdraws is no good idea.
I would rather focus on making her feel safe and helping her to be emotionally stable.
But what do you do when she tells you about “unusual” experiences? I would recommend to listen and ask her questions like: “How does it make you feel that the spirit stands guard?”, “How does it make you feel to tell me this story?” and “Is there something new in this experience that you didn’t experience in the past?”
That can help her order her thoughts. Not focusing on the content but how she feels about the content is likely to help you to listen in a nonjudgemental way because you can be genuinely care about her emotional experience.
If she doesn’t do any sports I would encourage her to do some physical activity to get more in touch with her body.
More seriously, my girlfriend has told me stories about seeing and interacting with “spirits”, although she’s asked me not to repeat any of them
Then repeating them in this way in a public forum is quite a breach of trust.
Mostly I just listen and reassure her that I don’t think she’s crazy.
So, the Litany of Gendlin and Litany of Tarski seem relevant here. If she were actually ‘crazy,’ in that she experiences vivid hallucinations for physiological reasons, is this how you would want to respond?
To elaborate, is her true question whether or not you trust her senses, or whether she is lovable? If she thinks the two of those are related, is that a belief you can change?
To expand on izolende’s point: changing details would not be the only useful thing here. It also would have made sense to use a throwaway account rather than your usual account.
For future reference changing specific details may be a good idea, such that if your girlfriend reads the post stripped of its username she would not say “the poster is describing me”. This is what Yvain does when discussing specific patients.
Yvain is a doctor and knows something about pathology and knows many different patients. When he blends multiple stories together, the resulting picture makes sense.
If CronoDAS would make up details than it would be quite easy to add details that don’t make sense. Winning ideological turing tests isn’t easy.
Changing someone’s world view that’s backed up by experiences isn’t easy, so it’s likely not the best target. Even if you could destroying the fantasy world in which an emotionally fragile person withdraws is no good idea.
I would rather focus on making her feel safe and helping her to be emotionally stable.
But what do you do when she tells you about “unusual” experiences? I would recommend to listen and ask her questions like: “How does it make you feel that the spirit stands guard?”, “How does it make you feel to tell me this story?” and “Is there something new in this experience that you didn’t experience in the past?”
That can help her order her thoughts. Not focusing on the content but how she feels about the content is likely to help you to listen in a nonjudgemental way because you can be genuinely care about her emotional experience.
If she doesn’t do any sports I would encourage her to do some physical activity to get more in touch with her body.
Then repeating them in this way in a public forum is quite a breach of trust.
Mostly I just listen and reassure her that I don’t think she’s crazy.
So, the Litany of Gendlin and Litany of Tarski seem relevant here. If she were actually ‘crazy,’ in that she experiences vivid hallucinations for physiological reasons, is this how you would want to respond?
To elaborate, is her true question whether or not you trust her senses, or whether she is lovable? If she thinks the two of those are related, is that a belief you can change?
I’m not sure how convincingly you can do that.
The best response is likely to lead the conversation to how she feels about those things. If you want more of a script, look up focusing.
This is me hoping not to get caught. :(
To expand on izolende’s point: changing details would not be the only useful thing here. It also would have made sense to use a throwaway account rather than your usual account.
For future reference changing specific details may be a good idea, such that if your girlfriend reads the post stripped of its username she would not say “the poster is describing me”. This is what Yvain does when discussing specific patients.
Yvain is a doctor and knows something about pathology and knows many different patients. When he blends multiple stories together, the resulting picture makes sense.
If CronoDAS would make up details than it would be quite easy to add details that don’t make sense. Winning ideological turing tests isn’t easy.
Simply leaving out details would make more sense.