A 25 year old virgin’s real problem is not that he isn’t having sex, it’s that he’s not forming stable romantic relationships which are consequences of normal social/psychological development. Patronizing a prostitute or trying to seduce a girl in a nightclub isn’t going to solve the underlying problem that has prevented him from normal social/psychological development.
Well, it’s complicated. There are several different problems that lead to one being a 25 year-old virgin and what works in one case need not work in another. Sex surrogates are a thing and have been used to help people overcome certain inhibitions and anxieties. I have heard anecdotes of some people getting a similar benefit from prostitution. On the other hand, others have expressed regret at stooping to prostitution. Caveat emptor.
Some people have more fundamental social problems or harbor toxic attitudes and for them it’s not likely to work.
Mostly, the “pedestal” concept is part of a self-serving narrative that a lot of men who are suffering from social failures find appealing. They tell themselves their problem is that they are to respectful and nice to women, and women are cruelly victimizing them for that.
I think you’re mixing it up with Nice Guy syndrome. The pedestal concept is the observation that a lot of these men have an unrealistic view of women as pure, virtuous beings, which ends up inhibiting their ability to form meaningful relationships.
This seems to be a completely pathological attitude.
Honestly, it’s hard for a virgin in his 20s to develop a non-pathological attitude without stumbling upon it through pure chance. What attitude he does develop is born of inexperience and distorted by the lens of whatever problem led to him remaining a virgin in the first place.
Well, it’s complicated. There are several different problems that lead to one being a 25 year-old virgin and what works in one case need not work in another. Sex surrogates are a thing and have been used to help people overcome certain inhibitions and anxieties. I have heard anecdotes of some people getting a similar benefit from prostitution. On the other hand, others have expressed regret at stooping to prostitution. Caveat emptor.
Some people have more fundamental social problems or harbor toxic attitudes and for them it’s not likely to work.
I think you’re mixing it up with Nice Guy syndrome. The pedestal concept is the observation that a lot of these men have an unrealistic view of women as pure, virtuous beings, which ends up inhibiting their ability to form meaningful relationships.
Honestly, it’s hard for a virgin in his 20s to develop a non-pathological attitude without stumbling upon it through pure chance. What attitude he does develop is born of inexperience and distorted by the lens of whatever problem led to him remaining a virgin in the first place.