Whenever you discover a social “dark art”, look for a countermeasure.
Of course, in most cases this isn’t a “dark art” at all: It can just be a signal that you’re okay talking about X or moving the conversation in the direction of X, without explicit requesting to talk about X, because an explicit request would require an explicit refusal in the case where they truly didn’t want to talk about X. Whereas if you use the ambiguous signal, you’re giving them the option of an ambiguous refusal (often by reciprocating with a superficially equal but actually trivial “yeah me too” disclosure). I think this holds for the case of “difficult” issues between friends, and well as things like flirting (ambiguous introduction of a sexual topic), and moving to informal topics from a formal context.
Whenever you discover a social “dark art”, look for a countermeasure.
Of course, in most cases this isn’t a “dark art” at all: It can just be a signal that you’re okay talking about X or moving the conversation in the direction of X, without explicit requesting to talk about X, because an explicit request would require an explicit refusal in the case where they truly didn’t want to talk about X. Whereas if you use the ambiguous signal, you’re giving them the option of an ambiguous refusal (often by reciprocating with a superficially equal but actually trivial “yeah me too” disclosure). I think this holds for the case of “difficult” issues between friends, and well as things like flirting (ambiguous introduction of a sexual topic), and moving to informal topics from a formal context.