I realize that not every child is as reasonable or cooperative as I was, but providing a reason for your instructions doesn’t hurt anything; at worst it’s useless, and at best it reinforces your authority by making people perceive you as a reasonable authority figure worthy of listening to.
Not true. In many cases, there isn’t time (or some other resource) for spelling out your reasons. And when it’s a life-or-death situation, you want your child to comply with your orders unquestioningly, not stand there asking “why” and get eaten by a lion.
“because I say so” invokes the very fact of the demand as the supreme reason, rather than acting as a promissory note, saying “no time to explain now, but trust me there’s a good reason that I’ll explain later”
ie, “because I said so” is “bow to my authority, underling” rather than “in this specific circumstance, just do it, trust me (for now) there’s a reason, and ask later if it’s not obvious to you by then”
Okay, I will admit that there are some situations where telling someone why is impractical. I don’t think they’re too frequent, though, unless you live in a place with a lot of lions (or whatever).
For a comparison with modern adults who live in places with a lot of potentially-deadly situations requiring swift obedience, US military personnel are required to obey all lawful orders from those appointed over them, but have (from the order follower’s side) several channels for reporting abuses of authority, and (from the order giver’s side) official guidance with ways of explaining orders when time permits.
Not true. In many cases, there isn’t time (or some other resource) for spelling out your reasons. And when it’s a life-or-death situation, you want your child to comply with your orders unquestioningly, not stand there asking “why” and get eaten by a lion.
These concerns can be balanced better than they usually are by using something like a “Merlin says” rule.
Such a rule would include an expectation of later justification, of course.
The reference, in case anybody was wondering.
That sounds plausible, but I’ve never seen it attempted in practice.
Though it doesn’t sound very different from “Because I say so!” so I don’t see why it would work worse.
“because I say so” invokes the very fact of the demand as the supreme reason, rather than acting as a promissory note, saying “no time to explain now, but trust me there’s a good reason that I’ll explain later”
ie, “because I said so” is “bow to my authority, underling” rather than “in this specific circumstance, just do it, trust me (for now) there’s a reason, and ask later if it’s not obvious to you by then”
Okay, I will admit that there are some situations where telling someone why is impractical. I don’t think they’re too frequent, though, unless you live in a place with a lot of lions (or whatever).
Most parents and children live in places with a lot of potentially-deadly situations.
For a comparison with modern adults who live in places with a lot of potentially-deadly situations requiring swift obedience, US military personnel are required to obey all lawful orders from those appointed over them, but have (from the order follower’s side) several channels for reporting abuses of authority, and (from the order giver’s side) official guidance with ways of explaining orders when time permits.
I think that statement becomes a lot stronger if you say “most of your ancestors”.
Possibly, although most parents and children live in places with automobiles.