I myself have a beautiful wife who would make for a great mother, both genetically and in terms of raising kids, but the thought of having kids seems just insane to me right now. Why? I make about $10,000 a year with a MASTER’S DEGREE as a part-time college adjunct instructor and as a K-12 substitute teacher. My wife makes about the same with a BACHELOR’S DEGREE as a part-time nurse’s aid in a hospital. Together, we might scrape together $20,000. Our expenses are about $16,000 a year if we are frugal (we have a very small apartment and only one old car). Not much buffer room. Not much money to save up towards a house or a new car for when the old one breaks down. Don’t even talk to me about children.
And yet fertility is negatively correlated with income.
There are also higher cultural expectations on how good of a parent you have to be (at least, if we are talking about the “nice middle-class white” demographic whose low fertility rates the neoreactionaries are so worried about).
Bingo. Except its perfectly possible to raise “nice middle-class” kids without micromanagement, your parents’ generation did just that.
“Close-parenting” is now the expected norm among this demographic. I get the sense from the stories my parents and grandparents tell that people used to assume that kids kinda “raised themselves.” You just told them to go out in the neighborhood and play with other kids, and be home for supper, and you put food on the table, and you occasionally reprimanded them when they misbehaved or did poorly in school. You didn’t micromanage their extra-curricular activities, go to all of their extra-curricular activities, research college-preparatory programs, etc. You didn’t “helicopter parent.” Now, if you don’t “helicopter parent,” then A. other parents will look down on you,
Really, I get the feeling that these days people don’t pay much attention to their neighbors, also why do you care what they think?
Also in the “old days” the neighbors would look down on someone who divorces or has sex outside of marriage rather than someone who’s a non-helicopter parent. Why did this change?
and B. your kid probably will go off track and end up as a street thug in some gang or as a couch potato because the surrounding culture is not as much of a supportive ally. (Now why is that?)
Probably not if you live in a neighborhood without thugs, granted this is becoming harder now that progressives are transporting thugs out of ghettos to other neighborhoods in the name of diversity.
And yet fertility is negatively correlated with income.
I imagine that, if I were making more money, I would be working more hours, which would mean I would have less time for parenting, which would make parenting even more unattractive. (This is under the assumption, which might be mistaken as you point out, that good parenting requires lots of money and time).
So basically, Westerners have gotten more picky about having children to the point of insisting on having a lot of free time AND a high income, AND for child-rearing to be a more intrinsically interesting activity than other things they could be doing with that time and money (say, being an unemployed millionaire who trades stocks and plays poker for fun). Time, money, and interest have all become necessary, but not sufficient conditions.
I think this has to do with the vast increase in the number of fun distractions in modern society. As a farmer in Sub-Saharan Africa, what does one do with one’s time? Herd cattle? Why not have kids? They are like little super-intelligent robots that you can help program and develop. How neat! That sort of technology pretty much blows every other entertainment they would have right out of the water. But Westerners? They think, “Oh, whoop-de-do, a super-intelligent robot that you can help program and develop...but which you will also be responsible for and which may occasionally be stressful...no thanks, I’m more interested in football/LessWrong/youtube/something that is equally interesting but not as stressful.”
Bingo. Except its perfectly possible to raise “nice middle-class” kids without micromanagement, your parents’ generation did just that.
Nah, my parents helicoptered and micromanaged. But if you want to talk about my parents’ parents’ generation, then yes. The thing is, they didn’t really raise good middle-class kids, in that my father ended up being a roofer and my mother a housewife. Neither graduated college until my mother went back to school after my siblings had gotten out of high school. Not that it hurt them too much in their generation. My father made good money at roofing. Would the money still be as good? I don’t know.
Really, I get the feeling that these days people don’t pay much attention to their neighbors, also why do you care what they think?
By “neighbors,” I mean social circle, whether or not they geographically border one’s property.
Probably not if you live in a neighborhood without thugs, granted this is becoming harder now that progressives are transporting thugs out of ghettos to other neighborhoods in the name of diversity.
And living in a neighborhood with a good peer group requires money.
Also in the “old days” the neighbors would look down on someone who divorces or has sex outside of marriage rather than someone who’s a non-helicopter parent. Why did this change?
My naive progressive feeling about this is because “ending an unhappy marriage through divorce” or “sex outside of marriage” produce net good things. Progressives have this idea that divorce is the psychologically “healthier” option in that it is more honest and builds less resentment. Likewise, progressives tend to have this idea that having sex outside of marriage is a good way to make sure that sexual chemistry is compatible before marrying, plus it is just fun, and if protection is used and people are careful with each other’s feelings, then there are no downsides (and progressives do not see lack of babies as a downside).
On the other hand, progressives have this idea that being a non-helicopter parent produces net bad things, such as children getting stuck in dysfunctional life situations. Buuuut...I will admit that there are those intriguing studies that suggest that parenting style does not have much of an effect on child outcome, which would be a bombshell to the progressive mindset.
The thing is, they didn’t really raise good middle-class kids, in that my father ended up being a roofer and my mother a housewife.
You seem to have strange ideas about what constitutes “middle class”.
Likewise, progressives tend to have this idea that having sex outside of marriage is a good way to make sure that sexual chemistry is compatible before marrying, plus it is just fun, and if protection is used and people are careful with each other’s feelings, then there are no downsides
And yet fertility is negatively correlated with income.
Bingo. Except its perfectly possible to raise “nice middle-class” kids without micromanagement, your parents’ generation did just that.
Really, I get the feeling that these days people don’t pay much attention to their neighbors, also why do you care what they think?
Also in the “old days” the neighbors would look down on someone who divorces or has sex outside of marriage rather than someone who’s a non-helicopter parent. Why did this change?
Probably not if you live in a neighborhood without thugs, granted this is becoming harder now that progressives are transporting thugs out of ghettos to other neighborhoods in the name of diversity.
Does that still hold when controlling for IQ, conscientiousness, age and religion?
I imagine that, if I were making more money, I would be working more hours, which would mean I would have less time for parenting, which would make parenting even more unattractive. (This is under the assumption, which might be mistaken as you point out, that good parenting requires lots of money and time).
So basically, Westerners have gotten more picky about having children to the point of insisting on having a lot of free time AND a high income, AND for child-rearing to be a more intrinsically interesting activity than other things they could be doing with that time and money (say, being an unemployed millionaire who trades stocks and plays poker for fun). Time, money, and interest have all become necessary, but not sufficient conditions.
I think this has to do with the vast increase in the number of fun distractions in modern society. As a farmer in Sub-Saharan Africa, what does one do with one’s time? Herd cattle? Why not have kids? They are like little super-intelligent robots that you can help program and develop. How neat! That sort of technology pretty much blows every other entertainment they would have right out of the water. But Westerners? They think, “Oh, whoop-de-do, a super-intelligent robot that you can help program and develop...but which you will also be responsible for and which may occasionally be stressful...no thanks, I’m more interested in football/LessWrong/youtube/something that is equally interesting but not as stressful.”
Nah, my parents helicoptered and micromanaged. But if you want to talk about my parents’ parents’ generation, then yes. The thing is, they didn’t really raise good middle-class kids, in that my father ended up being a roofer and my mother a housewife. Neither graduated college until my mother went back to school after my siblings had gotten out of high school. Not that it hurt them too much in their generation. My father made good money at roofing. Would the money still be as good? I don’t know.
By “neighbors,” I mean social circle, whether or not they geographically border one’s property.
And living in a neighborhood with a good peer group requires money.
My naive progressive feeling about this is because “ending an unhappy marriage through divorce” or “sex outside of marriage” produce net good things. Progressives have this idea that divorce is the psychologically “healthier” option in that it is more honest and builds less resentment. Likewise, progressives tend to have this idea that having sex outside of marriage is a good way to make sure that sexual chemistry is compatible before marrying, plus it is just fun, and if protection is used and people are careful with each other’s feelings, then there are no downsides (and progressives do not see lack of babies as a downside).
On the other hand, progressives have this idea that being a non-helicopter parent produces net bad things, such as children getting stuck in dysfunctional life situations. Buuuut...I will admit that there are those intriguing studies that suggest that parenting style does not have much of an effect on child outcome, which would be a bombshell to the progressive mindset.
You seem to have strange ideas about what constitutes “middle class”.
How about making it harder to bond with your spouse when you do settle down?