An explanation that I’ve more or less settled on, if it is true that my constitution requires a certain kind of “meaning” that doesn’t exist, is that a core component of my personality in charge of evaluating goals and my progress towards them simply doesn’t allow terminating goals.
It seems like a tool with some usefulness that eventually hijacked my mind. Since this component is more meta it feels more conscious than other components (more like the ‘I’ of my mind).
Emphasizing the importance of evaluating goals is useful when I realize that there is a more direct route to goal-A than goal-B, but this component of my personality is at a loss when the point of goal A is goal A without any reason. Because it’s whole job is to look for and expect justifications for goals, it doesn’t understand pursuing a goal for its own sake.
Or, rather, it expects that any goal that is pursued must have ‘real value’ behind it, somewhere done the line. So we’re not all chasing after worthless paper money: somewhere there’s a bank we could cash it all in. For this goal-evaluating self, God should exist not so much to provide a goal but to guarantee the value behind some goal.
An explanation that I’ve more or less settled on, if it is true that my constitution requires a certain kind of “meaning” that doesn’t exist, is that a core component of my personality in charge of evaluating goals and my progress towards them simply doesn’t allow terminating goals.
It seems like a tool with some usefulness that eventually hijacked my mind. Since this component is more meta it feels more conscious than other components (more like the ‘I’ of my mind).
Emphasizing the importance of evaluating goals is useful when I realize that there is a more direct route to goal-A than goal-B, but this component of my personality is at a loss when the point of goal A is goal A without any reason. Because it’s whole job is to look for and expect justifications for goals, it doesn’t understand pursuing a goal for its own sake.
Or, rather, it expects that any goal that is pursued must have ‘real value’ behind it, somewhere done the line. So we’re not all chasing after worthless paper money: somewhere there’s a bank we could cash it all in. For this goal-evaluating self, God should exist not so much to provide a goal but to guarantee the value behind some goal.
Great analogy.
My nonterminating goal is to make my own gold standard.