You’re pointing at a generalized hard problem—how can you tell who’s trustworthy enough?
I’m inclined to think that anyone who habitually vents about the awfulness of a group you’re part of is riskier for you than someone who doesn’t. It may be excessive paranoia on my part that such venting even once is a sign of trouble. Certainly, that level of sensitivity has been encouraged lately, and I’ve been trying to figure out what’s a good level for my quality of life.
There’s also the question of people who aren’t venting about various groups—they have settled opinions of the groups, with theories backing the opinions. Danger sign if they’re overgeneralizing about a group you can about?
As for the “women only want jerks” thing, I do wonder how anyone can believe that. Don’t they look at a range of couples? My tentative theory is that the people who put the most into heterosexual gender display are easiest to notice, and maybe they’re (especially when youngish) apt to make beautiful woman/dominant jerk pairings. Maybe the “women only want jerks” guy is only seeing the supernormal stimuli.
Even if a guy starts out nice, if he’s becoming resentful of women in general, he may become a much less good person for his next partner.
You’re pointing at a generalized hard problem—how can you tell who’s trustworthy enough?
I’m inclined to think that anyone who habitually vents about the awfulness of a group you’re part of is riskier for you than someone who doesn’t. It may be excessive paranoia on my part that such venting even once is a sign of trouble. Certainly, that level of sensitivity has been encouraged lately, and I’ve been trying to figure out what’s a good level for my quality of life.
There’s also the question of people who aren’t venting about various groups—they have settled opinions of the groups, with theories backing the opinions. Danger sign if they’re overgeneralizing about a group you can about?
As for the “women only want jerks” thing, I do wonder how anyone can believe that. Don’t they look at a range of couples? My tentative theory is that the people who put the most into heterosexual gender display are easiest to notice, and maybe they’re (especially when youngish) apt to make beautiful woman/dominant jerk pairings. Maybe the “women only want jerks” guy is only seeing the supernormal stimuli.
Even if a guy starts out nice, if he’s becoming resentful of women in general, he may become a much less good person for his next partner.