And correspondingly I surely don’t just want to raise her heartbeat to fool her. Fooling anybody is no working long-term strategy.
Emotional reactions do have meaningful long-term effects. If a girl feels good when she thinks about you that matters.
People do tell themselves stories to justify their emotions and those stories in turn strengthen the emotions for the long term.
If every times the woman thinks of you that thought makes her feel better the brain learns that there a connection between the stimulus of the thought and feeling better. That means the positive emotion get’s stronger when it reliably follows after the women starts thinking of you.
Getting a person to associate the emotion of love with a person might be more complicated than installing a phobia through a single traumatic event. On the other hand both are just emotions and there are processes that when a human goes through them, they end up with the emotional reaction to a stimulus.
The more I learn about how the human mind works the more I think that falling in love on first sight isn’t that much different than developing a phobia in a single experience. Once the emotional bond is there it has long-term effects.
It’s well above my ability to engineer the experience but I can see how people can fall in love on first sight in a way that allows a lasting relationship based on a few random variables being just right at a specific moment.
What I do want to optimize is the likelihood that we ‴notice‴ that we are ‴authentically‴ compatible.
I don’t think noticing that you are authentically compatible is the prime factor for a relationship for most woman. “Noticing” sounds like a very intellectual process.
And I’m interested in how much resources I have to rationally allocate to physical (more dancing/jogging), psychological (more alpha/beta) and social aspects (more talking) aspects.
I don’t see how those are different area’s. If you sign up for a dance course you have physical activity. You have psychological covered as you learn to lead woman. If you go dancing in clubs you also cover rejection therapy. Lastly dancing is interaction with woman so it’s also social and there nothing preventing you from talking with the woman.
Inviting a woman to go jogging with you is also at least physical and social but probably also psychological when you aren’t used to inviting woman besides your wife to go to activities with you.
And if you want to add social and psychological aspects to solo jogging just greet every person that you pass while jogging.
I don’t think it makes sense to see physical, psychological and social as separate things that you could allocate time.
I considered dancing but from my previous experiences I’d tentatively guess that even though your arguments are sound the likelihood to find a woman of the right kind there might be lower than elsewhere.
I don’t think it makes sense to see physical, psychological and social as separate things that you could allocate time.
Not allocate in the sense of doing 20% this (dacing) and 30% (talking) that. More like dancing has 20% this and 30% that.
Look for example nowadays dating sites are en vogue. I could come to the conclusion that matching expectations plays a large role and use e.g. okcupid as primary filter for matches. And then try to get a date with those.
Or I could conclude that physical attration is the critical path, then I might consider dancing because it has a high number of contacts. Or clubbing—even more contacts but even shorter time to evaluate. And probably even less really prospective candidates there.
One current idea it to take up part-time study on the local university.
OK. I have to get off this dry mode. This will be read and a turn off.
I’d tentatively guess that even though your arguments are sound the likelihood to find a woman of the right kind there might be lower than elsewhere.
What do you consider to be “the right kind”? I think there are quite a few well educated people who do dance. It might be that you have stereotypes about who dances that aren’t accurate. But of course if you don’t want to dance I don’t want to talk you into it.
I especially don’t want to encourage you to put your chips on any one card.
I could come to the conclusion that matching expectations plays a large role and use e.g. okcupid as primary filter for matches. And then try to get a date with those.
I don’t think there anything wrong with going on okcupid and trying your luck. Writing a profile and writing a few messages isn’t going to cost too much time.
Optimizing a Okcupid profile and writing optimal messages to get a date is however not my idea of authentic human interaction. I consider online dating to be quite artificial.
One current idea it to take up part-time study on the local university.
If you enjoy being at university I don’t think there anything wrong at it. However I consider dancing to be more physical, provide better psychological benefits and be more social than being at university.
OK. I have to get off this dry mode. This will be read and a turn off.
If you want to reply to something privately, feel free to PM. It’s certainly a topic where there are things that are better left unsaid in public.
Emotional reactions do have meaningful long-term effects. If a girl feels good when she thinks about you that matters.
People do tell themselves stories to justify their emotions and those stories in turn strengthen the emotions for the long term.
If every times the woman thinks of you that thought makes her feel better the brain learns that there a connection between the stimulus of the thought and feeling better. That means the positive emotion get’s stronger when it reliably follows after the women starts thinking of you.
Getting a person to associate the emotion of love with a person might be more complicated than installing a phobia through a single traumatic event. On the other hand both are just emotions and there are processes that when a human goes through them, they end up with the emotional reaction to a stimulus.
The more I learn about how the human mind works the more I think that falling in love on first sight isn’t that much different than developing a phobia in a single experience. Once the emotional bond is there it has long-term effects.
It’s well above my ability to engineer the experience but I can see how people can fall in love on first sight in a way that allows a lasting relationship based on a few random variables being just right at a specific moment.
I don’t think noticing that you are authentically compatible is the prime factor for a relationship for most woman. “Noticing” sounds like a very intellectual process.
I don’t see how those are different area’s. If you sign up for a dance course you have physical activity. You have psychological covered as you learn to lead woman. If you go dancing in clubs you also cover rejection therapy. Lastly dancing is interaction with woman so it’s also social and there nothing preventing you from talking with the woman.
Inviting a woman to go jogging with you is also at least physical and social but probably also psychological when you aren’t used to inviting woman besides your wife to go to activities with you.
And if you want to add social and psychological aspects to solo jogging just greet every person that you pass while jogging.
I don’t think it makes sense to see physical, psychological and social as separate things that you could allocate time.
Indeed you seem to understand how my ideas go.
I considered dancing but from my previous experiences I’d tentatively guess that even though your arguments are sound the likelihood to find a woman of the right kind there might be lower than elsewhere.
Not allocate in the sense of doing 20% this (dacing) and 30% (talking) that. More like dancing has 20% this and 30% that.
Look for example nowadays dating sites are en vogue. I could come to the conclusion that matching expectations plays a large role and use e.g. okcupid as primary filter for matches. And then try to get a date with those.
Or I could conclude that physical attration is the critical path, then I might consider dancing because it has a high number of contacts. Or clubbing—even more contacts but even shorter time to evaluate. And probably even less really prospective candidates there.
One current idea it to take up part-time study on the local university.
OK. I have to get off this dry mode. This will be read and a turn off.
What do you consider to be “the right kind”? I think there are quite a few well educated people who do dance. It might be that you have stereotypes about who dances that aren’t accurate. But of course if you don’t want to dance I don’t want to talk you into it.
I especially don’t want to encourage you to put your chips on any one card.
I don’t think there anything wrong with going on okcupid and trying your luck. Writing a profile and writing a few messages isn’t going to cost too much time.
Optimizing a Okcupid profile and writing optimal messages to get a date is however not my idea of authentic human interaction. I consider online dating to be quite artificial.
If you enjoy being at university I don’t think there anything wrong at it. However I consider dancing to be more physical, provide better psychological benefits and be more social than being at university.
If you want to reply to something privately, feel free to PM. It’s certainly a topic where there are things that are better left unsaid in public.